"ITS NOT MY DOG" Thoughts

I've still got it. . .a bit.

2012-01-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

As my Sunday came to a close, I couldn't help but wonder if a certain ability of my past still existed. I pondered the thought, which has been bouncing around in my head for a while. I confess, proudly, I am a Trekkie, not just that, but a full blown Sci-Fi freak. Yes it's true, and I have been reminiscing among old and quite cheesy Star Trek movies (as my wife would attest) this weekend. And it has been amazing watching how bad the graphics were, but how awesome the stories and legends are.
From an earlier post, I let the world know that I am an amateur sculptor. Having taught myself since the age of six, and until recently had now professional instruction. I use to spend hours on end, creating ships, cities, creatures and whole universes, just waiting to be stepped on by my parents and siblings. I sculpted so much, my mother made it a rule that every time I was to come up stairs my hands were to be washed, and my pockets to be turned out. I was, and still am addicted.

So here tonight, when I should be asleep, I show to you all, I still have it . . .a bit.

To those who need an introduction, the first four are the U.S.S Enterprise E, D, B and original.
To those who don't, I hope you can recognize them.

Each one is very basic, and to anywhere from ten minutes to 25 minutes

Don't mind the giant hand floating in "space".

And because I could hear my mother telling me to, "branch out" after every sculpture, I'll prove to her I have.

I can't wait for my next: Midnight Sculpting Experience!

Lost in Thought

2012-01-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

It's amazing to me how on such a cold winter day, I can feel the warmth of sunlight on my face. Even though my glasses fog, and the wind bites my nose, I can still feel energy coming from our source of life. It finally the January I know and love.
Today I sat on my bus, with my Anthropology book in my lap, and soaked in the surroundings: a bright blue wispy sky, the ebb and flow of traffic, a grumbling bus engine that propelled me to my stop just in front of a spectacularly designed court house. I found myself meandering my way past the City and County building, admiring the stone and mortar of its walls, a very stoic figure surrounded by all the naked trees. And the thought dawned on me: I'm lost in thought! Not a very profound one, or one unknown to my mind. But why had this common thought thrust itself out to my mind, to rub against the ridges and wrinkles of my grey matter? I was lost in my thought, with no accompaniment, there were no words or lyrics being sung into my ear canals. I had no emotions assaulting me, I wasn't being moved by a constant melody or beat. It was just me, my conscience and no one else.
If you do not follow my thought, or understand what I am saying, DROP YOUR HEADPHONES. I know in the past I have said I'm unplugging for the day, and I often make fun of others and myself for being cut off from the world around them, but now I am unplugging. I'm dedicating this semester (and possibly others) to an Ipod free semester. Some may scoff and wonder how long that will last, others just may flip past the screen. But know, those of you that stay and read this, I am unplugging myself from my small inside world, and experiencing the great wonders around me.
Its already been a week, so lets see what more comes from it!

A return of Kindergarten

2012-01-03T14:02:00.000-08:00

21 pairs of hands, holding oversized pencils, 21 pairs of little feet swinging and crossing beneath shin high seats. 21 eyes taking in their bran new classroom.

We spent the past break dusting, cleaning, scrubbing and sanitizing a room of Mrs. Erickson's very own, one that has a tall bouleton board, one name plate over the door jam, and one teacher's desk in the corner.

As I sit here, listening to my wife teach 21 little minds, I can't help but smile at the memory of my own kindergarten, paper lions and lambs hanging from the ceiling, a giant doll house full of furniture and toys, blocks, blocks and more blocks! Reflected in the small pool of faces before me are my friends, aquaintences, and self of the past.

Part of me often feels the need to sit at the desk, and write the letter of the day, or sit on the rug and listen to a story being told. I even feel myself cringe with everyone else as someone gets in trouble, or yearn for praise when someone else receives a complement from Mrs. Erickson.

With Hello Kitty bandaide on finger, my wife fearlessly teaches one how to count to ten, keeping little minds working and staying on task. I wonder how she does it all. I come to volunteer and often end up a spectator, and then come home practically falling asleep before my head hits the pillow. And she's the teacher!

Mrs. Erickson, in the words of one of your student's mother, "Your simply incredible!

I want to Sculpt!

2011-12-08T06:52:00.001-08:00

Its the week before finals, and Christmas break is just around the corner. I've burnt my brains out on Human Physiology, Physics, and Psychology. TO MANY "P" WORDS PEOPLE!
Let's get going with SCULPTURE! I want to have clay under my fingernails again, I want to create! Worlds are waiting to be created by my hands, and every day I think of something new to sculpt!
It doesn't help that I'm doing an entire presentation on the occupation of sculpture tonight. As with all things, I must wait. School must finish, but when its done that clay will never know what hit it!

Enjoy some pictures I found on line, don'they stir the imagination?

I wish I could say all of these were done by me. But it wouldn't be true.

I'll have to post pictures of my sculptures soon.

November Muse

2011-11-03T13:59:00.000-07:00

Crisp, clear, cool.

As if one's breathe were its first.

Floating crystals of morning frost, burning bright in sun lit skies.

Raw, edged, a blade in the darkness of a shadow. I am shaded by a thought.

How fluorescent is the dawn?

In a dream my eyes awoke, starved for sensation,

pupils dilated, take in, drink in.

Oh this fall morning, for I am mourning.

Lost again is the Autumn, flora struck by Ra's flame,

but now as a knife in the dark, winter plants its poison.

Lost again, is the Autumn, again I wait for spring.

A frame of glass has captured me.

Contain my soul, my essence,

one frosted piece.

To you I gave all, one leaf on the ground

You held me close, would not let go.

I froze to death, in pleasures touch.

You must remember,

I must forget.

Do you see, there through the trees?

I'm watching, waiting.

Can you see, there through the trees?

A hope, a prayer.

Feel a thought, a look, a wish?

Muted emotion, dull of blade and light.

Please, please, do not take flight.

Life comes at you fast

2011-10-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I've visited my own blog. Life has been insane! But the ride has been good. Among the stacks of homework, work, volunteering, and being a husband I find no time to write down my thoughts. So now that I have about fifteen minutes of breathing room, I think I'll do it.

I recently downloaded the newest Coldplay single "Paradise" which I recommend to anyone who needs a good boost for their day. It's absolutely beautiful. If the band could see my post, I would tell them thank you for the inspiration, beauty and musical perfection that soothes my inner ear and vibrates the bones to nirvana. Some how they continue to express their talents with notes and lyrics that I feel describes me to a T. Its oddly wonderful to be able to find expression to what makes me, me, when I can just flip on my i pod and hear it being sung.

The weather has turned to cool, crisp, Autumn. My library has smelled like paradise the past couple of days. I find much solace, and sanctuary within the walls of books. The old building itself is due for termination coming next year, which is sad, but needed. Especially when the doors don't close all the way, the ceiling leaks and the heater is bipolar. But I love the people, the atmosphere and the friendships that are all contained within its rock walls.

The feeling of connection has been strengthen the past week by the reality of me leaving its comfort and striking out into the great unknown. But before I could walk away, depressed and uncertain, I was offered a new position to be a sub, and travel between three different libraries, once every week. It was a moment that I have only felt a few times in my life. One where you feel so strongly about a decision that will change your life forever, where you give up something good, for something better. I was torn, indecisive and degraditated.

I cried out to my maker and he answered my pathetic call, with this compromise.

Now, I can keep my toes in the water, focus on school, and (greatest of all) spend more time at home, with my radiant wife.

To all those who I work with, I love you like family, you all have influenced me for the best. I'll never forget our experiences for as long as I live. And to Kendall if you ever read this, you will always be a Philistine to me.

To my wife, thank you for loving me, urging me to be better than I am.

To God, thank you for being out there, to hear me and to show me that you care for this particular particle of dust.

Quite a Day

2011-08-21T21:17:00.001-07:00

Its already the start of another semester. I can't believe it. At least my summer went out, with a bang. . . . almost.

I was standing at the front desk of my work, just this past Saturday, contemplating how much I didn't want to be productive, when an altogether mind baffling, almost heart stopping scene played out before me.

There was Farmer Joe, wife-beater shirt, red bandanna, jeans and beat up tractor riding past straight from 1956. In his lap was an old red gas can, pretty as can be. My mouth was already open in a half smile, when all of the sudden, he whipped out a thin white cigarette. Plunking it between his lips he fumbled around with a silver lighter, its metal flashing in the sun, letting me know it really was there.

My mouth hit the counter as I saw Farmer Joe wrestle with the lighter, his gas can (full by the way) and steering wheel. He ducked his head once, the lighter, his head and the lid to the gas can closer than the ever should have been. Twice he tried this, but failed to light. (Himself and his cigarette)

Finally he got enough gray cells together to stop the tractor, take his hands from the wheel and successfully light his cigarette. Of course over the spout of the can.

Thoughts started to flash through my head: I told my wife I love her right? Did I leave the car unlocked? I wonder how big the boom will be. These HUGE glass windows aren't shatter proof are they. I've never seen anybody blow up before, I guess there's a first time for everything.

But alas, no blinding flash came, no deafening boom or shattering of glass into my face. Farmer Joe puffed contentedly on his cig and calmly pulled the clutch out on his tractor. It sputtered forward and out of our sight.

Today I heard a man died while fishing, they said at least he died doing something he loved. Funny how life can play out, right?

Almsot to July

2011-06-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

There is something liberating about being caught in a spring thunderstorm. Especially as one strides onto dry ground, where everyone without the experience of a rain kissed afternoon look on as shoes squeak and slid on tiled flooring. Where tranquility is shattered by slick rubber and an unabashed smile. Oh Ode of Odes, what would the tongue of Shakespeare wag out onto the hearkening ear of royalty long since past, if he had soggy afternoon shoes.

Summer Wonder

2011-06-14T22:35:00.001-07:00

Here we are in the midst of the greenest Summer of our lives. With hearts and hands full.

Upcoming finals

2011-04-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

Finals Checklist:

Psych Test (I'm still sane after four hours of studying)

Research Methods last assignment & Quiz (Thank goodness!)

History Essay Test. (expected to be writing for the whole two hours. Straight.)

Final Psych Quiz (Good thing these are easy right?)

Psych Optional Final (Just in case.)

Research Methods Final(Pretty much the devil himself is writing it, with his teeth.)

Human Development Final(Here we go an entire lifespan: Birth, Life, Death all in two hours.)

Equals:
me.

Spring Remembered

2011-04-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

I know its a bit late, but here's a reminder.

Advice for the day.

2011-04-15T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Die young as late as possible." - Unknown.

Writing: Getting the better of me.

2011-04-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

I have a confession. An old habit that I love has come back to my hand, especially when there is a blank margin of paper belly up beneath my pen. It comes subtly and on the drop of a dime. Suddenly striking out, creating bold lines, words, thoughts, entire worlds, all within the now gutted and devoured paper margin.
Yes, I write in the margin, and off to the side, and maybe in between lines of notes. Yes it's addictive, hard to stop and has a way of narrowing my attention, vision and blacks out everything else. I feel almost like a killer in some way, destroying white paper.
And when you are already in the most boring class of your semester, listening to a rant from the teacher that you neither care about nor need to pay attention, the pen just writes of its own accord.
Well here are some products of my experience. Enjoy:

Write a riddle, sing me a song.
Don't look at me, all the day long.
Touch me gently, hold me naught
For I am the worst, when the best is wrought.

Find me a rabbit hole, a snake, a fight.
Lead me away, so I come to the light.
Haunt me lovingly, love me with fear.
Never be there to dry a tear.

Confused I am,
Try to understand.

Think like an avocado.

"Amenable to Social Design..."
Amen to design...
Design your social able amen.

UNBELIEVABLE DEGREE!
Due to something.
Put two chemicals together,
A purified Human Being.

Feel better about things. Seriously.
Associate negative side effects.
Suffer those side effects.
Do you affect or effect?

As a sunrise is to life, so a waterfall is its road.
We turn, fall, move here to there.
The path is long, sometimes winding and twisted
You must splash onto hard places,
Create grooves, define your place.
Move or be soaked up into immovable soil.

I want warmth, heat, sun.
I need a summer.
Yes a summer... or two.
Sun, grass, smells of growing things.
I need to feel lazy,
Knowing I have time.
Then bottle it all up,
Seal it tight.
For a later date.

An April Fools

2011-04-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

Okay I have a confession, I forgot that it was April fools, in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY, wait, not even middle, THE MORNING OF! Good grief. :)
I had a lovely walk around campus, having a bit of time after my bus drops me off forty minutes before school starts. So I got to explore some of the upper reaches of campus today!
The sky was blue, the birds were singing, and I could smell the runner's track from five hundred feet away. Oh how I have an urge to run!
You know your day gets so much better when you listen to good music. Ya know? The stuff that pumps you up, makes you smile and want to dance everywhere.
Today my teacher never showed up for psych class today, I guess the Substance of the Universe was wanting an April Fools as well. Here's to tests on Mondays!

I want a dog. Not really.

hings of what are to come:

Santa Monica Beach!

Woven leashes, Wet concrete, Why not?

2011-03-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

The other day, a girl by me on her sleek silver scooter (the one you always had from grade school, but had kept in the garage the minute you started middle school and then grabbed off the wall in a fit of fancy as you started college). Apparently, and for some unknown reason, she hadn't strapped a certain doggy companion down tight enough. And at the end of a long woven leash, Fido dragged and bounced across wet, cold and probably very hard concrete.

I felt a pang of sympathy for the dog, as its beady eyes looked pleadingly, no with humiliation at me. I'm glad it wasn't my dog. It might lean a bit to one side after that excursion.

. . . . .No the dog wasn't real. . . . .I hope.

This made me laugh.

2011-03-30T14:38:00.001-07:00

The other morning, I was sitting in the spare room, looking out at a dark and brooding Wasatch Front. Dawn was there, its brightness masked and cowled by cruel clouds. My heart darkened with foreboding, as if the morning would be choked out and yet another day of gray would be hunched over us.

With my confidence as high as a chopped down tree, I turned to begin my day. But then a beautiful melody came through our not-very-sound-sealed windows.

A single robin song sang into the graying dark. Innocent, sweet and completely disregarding all around it. And with that, the sunlight burst through, huge golden shafts splintered errant gray, darkness fled, burned right from the sky.

Life seemed to finally unfreeze from winter and every bird outside burst into song.

I felt like singing. I think God was teaching me something.

Notes from and Optimist

2011-03-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

The other day someone called me an Optimist.
I took it as a complement, seeing that there are tons of other things they could have called me.

Thinking about the encounter, I couldn't help singing a song.
One that gets me up in the morning, and pulls me through my day.

1"Don't let go, you've got the music in you"
2"Don't give up, you've got a reason to live"
"Don't give up. You've got the music in you"

3"Can't forget,we only get what we give."

"Wake up kids we got the dreamer's disease."
"First we run, then we laugh till we cry"
"We're flat broke, but hey we do it in style"

"This whole damn world could fall apart, you'll be okay, follow your heart."
"You'll be okay, follow your heart."
"Your in harms way, I'm right behind."
"Your going to get what you give."

"Fly, fly high."

"You've got the music in you."
"One dance left, you got to get what you give."
"You only get what you give."

-The New Radicals

Spring Has Come

2011-03-10T06:39:00.000-08:00

Today is Spring, I don't care that its actually two weeks away. I woke up today with a blue sky and the sun rising over snow capped mountains. I could actually see my wife's face in the blue light of dawn.
We made pancakes and listened to Keith Urban, a sure sign that Spring is here, and enjoyed the morning together.

I feel like the back of my winter has broken, spring is here, and is not going anywhere for a while.

We got new neighbors the other day. They have a candy apple red Mazda, when we opened the door to our apartment, we almost went blind it was so bright.

The other day on the bus, we stopped at a spot that had a bunch of rough looking people all around. It was in the middle of the city, busy streets, and everything. So I had a good view of everyone, but one scene gave grabbed my attention.
There in the shelter of the bus stop sat a mother and two little girls. They were bundled to the eyes but all three were concentrating hard on a book. "Gram the Pig".
Mom was reading it with gusto, facial expressions and all, I could almost pick out what she was saying, and both girls reading along, with big smiles on their faces.
Here was a beautiful family, full of innocence and love, surrounded my the roughened lives all around them. A smooth patch among the rocks of life, a rose among the thorns. So beautiful.

Spring Among the Snow

2011-03-05T21:47:00.000-08:00

I have to say, the weather has been changing these past few weeks. I can feel spring just around the corner, waiting with a sea of green and sky of blue.
The other day, while on a bus, I sat enjoying the view of the sun-lit sky, huge puffy clouds rolled above, and all around was bathed in just the right amount of heat. One couldn't help but share a smile. I probably looked like an idiot smiling at everything, but I just didn't care.
As my bus came to a round-a-bout, a panorama was mine for an instant. An open park, with naked trees, brownish grass, and vacant jungle gym laying contented in a pre-spring thaw. It was empty, save for one figure, energetically swinging back and forth, back and forth. Oddly enough, the figure seem a bit to large for the swing. (In a grown up sort of way) My mind shifted gears not used in years, and I felt my inner child surface.
It was her smile I saw first: toothy, from ear to ear. Then her hands on the chains, her feet pointed straight before her, then sharply bending back, pushing her higher and higher. Eyes wide open, taking in her jubilation, she swung higher and higher, seeming to giggle with the feeling of weightlessness.
Beside one of the poles, leaned her bike, discarded. A symbol of this woman's adulthood, her reality,and experience, patiently waiting, grounded by its own sense of responsibility.
Again, my inner child connected with the feeling, the need to be free, careless, and unguarded. I wanted throw my responsibility aside, to jump off the bus, to laugh carelessly, to touch the sky, just like her.
But then my bus slid along solid lines of adulthood. My view shifted, and that stupendous view of childhood contentment was gone.

A February Afternoon, on the Bus

2011-02-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

Blue, white and red sped towards me, a great sleigh of metal, steel, rubber and fluids. Rumbling like an avalanche, hissing an ancient steam engine sound; windowed doors folded open for me. I walked up the steps, pulling out a leather wallet, passing it, to the right, over a scanner,which beeped a greeting.

Passing faces, I looked for an empty oasis, there between metal bars and another hissing steam door. Lurching me impatiently into a seat, the bus rolled forward, onwards to its next stop, all regulation and clockwork. With my focus beginning to wander I looked outwards through great glass windows, a sea of colors and movement before me, assaulting my retinas through the glass. So beautiful and different, yet simple and complex. Fractalizing before my eyes.
But something caught my attention, what was there before me, between my own lenses and the pane of glass.

A solemn world, it was dreary, gray and devoid of life. So unlike the world around me. Mirrored buses and cars drove on the wrong side of the road, signs were backwards, doors opened different ways, all a strange, rewound world. Construction cranes swung tantamount to their counterparts, all a grungy gray, devoid of life and meaning, bending with light, filtered through an eternal cloud.

Thoughts came to mind, what would it be to live in that other world. Where right hands become left hands, left eyes, become right. How would words form? Would we count down the minutes counter clockwise? Would we exit stage right on the left or stage left on the right? Would there be a fourth wall? How deep would be our conversations? As shallow as the glass that contained us? Would we take our voidless bus from stop to stop, on the now righted side of the road, entering from the left side, paying ticket stubs to our left, when our brains thought an echo of something was passing through them, as attempts to pay to the right?

What kind of person would I be? A backwards individual, introverted to the point of knowing ones self and not ones surroundings. Would I be rude, or kind; having all the current problems of an unreflected world solved by reflection, would new and unknown errors occur? Did the great computers of the time tick away mans identity, or were they slowly reverting, reversing from my own time, but progressing forward to their future?

Society of this unknown world, did it mold itself from a once expansive hive, with no secrets, identities or individuals, to a person to person connection? Was the individual beginning to see their own freedom, as phones changed from their brains, to their hands to contraptions hanging on a wall, to notes in a metal box. Were their triumphs the ability to write with charcoal and parchment, until the individual became a many different "one" alone in their own thoughts, simple as they are, to then nothing at all?

Is this mirrored world's only purpose to find existence within solitude? To hiccup within itself, imploding into silence.

But silence was broken, a hissing pop, and a ping, notifying me that my world needed my attention. Standing I turned away from that mirrored world, leaving it where I always do, to contemplate later. Purpose grumbled and hissed as I stepped off, my worlds purpose full of noise and intent. I turned right, walking on.

The Rest of My Life

2011-02-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

So this past week I settled on a major. Now for those few who know me, this is a pretty big thing, seeing that I have wanted to do everything from A to Z (of course kicking out Math and Chemistry).
I can tell you all, that it is an incredible feeling. To feel at peace with a decision like this, is like having a hand guide you through the darkness, instead of flailing around waiting to smash into a hall lamp or night stand.
My major is: Occupational Therapy. Yup! I'm going to earn a Master's from the Department of Health. And I never have felt better about this choice.
Ask I was talking to the Adviser, I couldn't help but fidget in my seat, I was so excited she probably thought I was going to pee my pants. Everything made sense, and for a first I actually understood all that we talked about, I was on the same page. AMAZING!
Afterwards,while walking to catch my bus, I couldn't help but take in the world around me. The blue sky, the sun shining brightly into my face. The soft breeze blowing a chilly February breath over everything.
A feeling of peace came to my heart, and tears came to my eyes, as if someone was putting their hands on my shoulders, congratulating me. I felt stupid trying not to cry in public. But I couldn't deny this feeling, there have been few times I have felt this way, and all have been choices that have changed my life for the best.

And now it begins. I've never been happier to say that.

Six More Weeks

2011-02-04T07:12:00.001-08:00

Today I Feel adventuresome. There was something in today's sunrise, a glow of rose pink in the clouds. The gray sky of a morning winter was trying for a cover up, but a bit of sun peaked through.
Spring was touching the world for the first time this new year, reaching out ready to awaken the world from sleep, I witnessed her this morning, among the deadened sky.
But old man winter knows he's not done just yet. There still is time for his taunts, and tantrums.

Six weeks can be whole eternities for a tiny snow crystal.

As if to remind me of his presence, a cold breath washed over my face, seeking the warmth beneath my coat.

Be warned, Winter, Spring is coming.

Opening Your Mind's Eye

2011-01-30T21:50:00.000-08:00

Ever felt like your own eyes are to small for your mind?
Like the mind's eye has been stretched and then melted wide open, taking in the world around you. You have an overload of every sense, taste, touch, hearing and sight? The world flashes past you, making your eyes spin, but feeling the pleasure of your synapses firing the information off through your brain.

I was there, on the bus that afternoon, feeling like a child, seeing everything for the first time again. The window of my imagination seemed to spill over, I was seeing every car, person, biker, door, window, street, lamp, lights, meters, column, alley, skyscraper, crane, welder, construction hat, cement block, for the first time.
My eyes, took apart each, piece by pieces,particle by particle,mapping it out within milliseconds. I was hooked, addicted, obsessed with the view out the window. My ears were assaulted with the music of my Ipod, the conversations of the people around me, and the deep thrum of the bus beneath me.

As I walked home, from my stop, each pore of my skin was open to the wind, sucking in air greedily, wanting more. I could feel the sun, warming me, and the hard earth pushing back on my feet with every step.
It was incredible. I never felt more alive.

Simple Things

2011-01-20T21:23:00.000-08:00

Today a co-worker told me a quote, "It was the simple things in life, in marriage that meant the most. A kiss goodbye, holding hands, or even a smile." She said, her face glowing with adoration, "My husband has made it a habit to kiss me once every day he leaves for work."

I had to stop and think, what were the simple things in my marriage?

The kisses goodbye.
A whispered: I love you.
The squeezing of my hand.
A simple love note.
Peanut butter and jelly.
Secret meetings in the shelves of the library?

Each day, we are filled with so many things. Our days are as big as our schedule. Our thoughts are on tasks at hand. There are largely complex problems to deal with, some may be beyond us, others require sacrifice, hard work and intellectual stretching.
In these days we accomplish so much, go so far, stretch beyond our limits and achieve the impossible. We are proud of our accomplishments, conquering our foe, beating the rival, winning the prize.
Our cups are seemingly full to the brim, even flowing over.
So why bother about the simple things?
Why enjoy the puffy clouds in the sky, or feel the sun, just for a moment, kissing your skin with rays of warmth.
Why bother about a hand held, or a smile passed on.

I ask myself these questions.

And I think I need to be more watchful. . .thoughtful. . .and grateful.

Simple things.

Hot Chocolate and Marshmallows

2011-01-04T21:37:00.000-08:00

Remember those days: being under four feet, snow up to your nose, and bundled with thirty layers of soggy wet fabric?
Sliding down what seemed to be the grand canyon on a small thin disc of plastic?
Falling onto your canvas of white, making all sorts of snow angels?
Building an ice wall so strong only your older brother could knock it down?
Watching the snow balls fly and fall like rain.
Hearing the trees rustling and an unexpected snow flurry finding its way through all your layers to trickle down your back?
Watching the world around you blanketed in millions of perfect crystals?
Smelling the snow was ready to fall?
Jumping over huge ponds of slush and ice?
Not entirely making it.
Feeling the snow finally seeping through your boots?
Clenching and unclenching your hands to keep them alive?
Finally blonking your way to the back door too tired to grip the door handle?
Knocking your boots against the back porch step?
Opening the door and feeling the warmth of inside on your ice and cherry nose?
Not exactly seeing your mother helping you get your snow gear off.
Feeling weightless and almost naked in your underclothes?
Knowing you are safe from the cold?
Wiggling your toes as they tingle with heat?
Sitting down at the table, grinning like a fool?
A plate of cookies, fresh from the oven in front of you?
Seeing your mom walking towards you, a steaming cup of something in front of you?
Hot Chocolate and Marshmallows, smiling back at you.

Do you remember?

Today

2010-12-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

Can I just say, I love my life? What more do I want?

Memories

2010-12-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

THREE MEMORIES:

Anyone remember their earliest memory?

Mine was this:

Having the coolest plastic airplane with white exterior and red interior in hand while being pulled in a little red wagon down a white tiled, white walled hallway. There were a lot of knee caps and then darkness.

That was when I was two or three, my tongue was too short for my mouth, so they had to clip the skin connecting my tongue to my mouth, that way I was able to stick my tongue out and lick my ice cream or even say my sister's name: Melissa.

Now days people have to tell me to slow down when I talk, funny eh?

One day I remember walking down the street to my friends home. While passing a particularly large and spiky yucca plant (its stalks seemed to touch the sky), a yellow jacket landed on my arm and climbed up my sleeve. As any normal four year old would do, I panicked.
The sensation of the sting has since fled my memory, but I will never forget screaming at the tops of my lungs, until my mother came running down (mind you 5 houses down the block) to come and comfort me. Some how she knew it was my scream, and probably thought I was being killed or something.

When growing up, there was a beautiful lady in the neighborhood that called me her sunshine. She looked exactly like a barbie, with the long straight blond hair, tan skin and beautiful smile.
I was hooked,(mind you I was four at the time)I'd get my best smile ready for her to see along with my chest all puffed out, trying to be as impressive as a four year old could.
I remember always seeing her at our church, when going through the front doors. She give me her dazzling smile and a hug. I'd probably go all bright red and crack my face in half just grinning about it.
A few years later she passed away unexpectedly. It turned the neighborhood upside down, and shook many lives. I was one.
Who was I going to smile for now?
I decided from then on to give my smile to everyone I met.
Along with my sunshine.

2010-11-22T14:00:00.000-08:00

Today was cold! I didn't think much on it as I ran out the door to catch my bus this morning. But when a particularly severe breath of Old Man Winter found its way down my throat, it promptly frumpled and wizzled away. Of course I had to breath again, so my throat reinflated, if not begrudgingly.

Today has been. . . . interesting to say the least.

BUT before I go on, I just have to mention the milestone (Not millstone) in my life has come and gone. I hit 6 months being married to my amazing wife! The good new is that she hasn't killed me yet! Naa, just kidding. But seriously.

We had an awesome time, eating sushi and then laughing so hard it almost came back up. To you my love, here's to the future.

Today,the climax of my day came and went before 1:00. Now its kind of on the downward slope. I had a physics test today. It ended up being a bit more. . .how should I put it, digestable(?), than I thought. I made it out with all fingers and toes accounted for.
Boy, its going to be a great day when that class ends!

What was the last creative thing you've done?

A Quick Minute

2010-11-19T09:50:00.001-08:00

How busy are you in a day?
Do you have a little time to stop? To breath?
Can you stop and sigh that sigh?
Enjoy the view for that split second, or meditate for that infinitesimal space of time?

If or when you get a pause, how do you spend it?
FOCUSED? Disjointed? Unconventionally? Unproductively?
Are you selfish with your moment, or do you think outside your box?
Who do you think about?

I am a focused, disjointed thinker that is selfish most of the time.
Missing a bigger picture, another view, or a more important person.
How busy am I today?

Will I say: too busy for you?

Just enough time for me?

Or do I think of you?
How you feel in your moments?
What is your view of?
Do you feel disjointed?

Today in my quick minute, I'm thinking of you,
where you are,
what your doing,
and how much you mean to me.

In this quick minute, I just want you.

A SPLENDIFEROUS DAY

2010-11-17T09:18:00.000-08:00

This morning the sky was blue! I practically ripped the blinds off their strings in an attempt to get a better view. Pink fluffy clouds, and blue, blue skies!

On the bus, the sun was blasting over the tops of the mountains, setting buildings, air and people on fire. . . .figuratively, not literally, although that would have been interesting.

My favorite part of this morning was waking up next to my wife cuddled close to me.

Walking to class, leafs crunched, not squished, beneath my feet. Light from the sun made the different colors glow. And it helped that the ground crews of the University were piling up huge mounds of leaves to be bagged. I had to restrain myself from kicking up a few piles. I think I would have become Utah's most wanted.

I'm looking forward to what the rest of today has in store for me. I have found my positive-link to this day and I'm not letting it go.

The other day I was talking to my sister on the phone. In the background I heard barking and barking, I thought she had gotten a dog, and had terrible flash backs of her first dog: LUCY.

But no apparently its the dog next door, her living room window looks out into their backyard. Every time she opens the window, the dog barks its brains out. It's a big fluffy Akita. Every time I see those dogs I just want to give it a big hug, but then it might just bite my face off.

If that happened I would just say: "Its not my dog!"

Yesterday my pen connected with paper,

and the ideas flowed out.

I wrote some pretty interesting things,

and the most amazing store came out of it,

it almost had a mind of its own,

writing itself there in my notebook.
I'm excited to see where it will go.

Erer-Ishk-Noriska

2010-11-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

I wish you could see my city, on the top of the world. I hear it was founded by explorers that were following the North Star. They sought to bridge the gap between our world and there, where ever there is. They failed, of course, but in remembrance of their struggle, loss and quest for that star, they named the city "Erer-Ishk-Noriska" or "Jewel of the North".
The first city was rumored to be built entirely of Ice and Snow, many of the explorers stayed to live, others left to explore more, still others strove to find that bridge. Those that chose to were never heard from again. It is said, they were taken in the Lights of the Sky, to Iosto Noriska, the North Star, to dwell with those who came before.

But I do not believe that fairy tale, Byorna Babista says there was no bridge to begin with, she says they were fools to even come here. Of course she says that about any human, well begin a bear will do that to you. Grandmother Bear has been with us since before I was born, she is the oldest of the Byorna-myst, or Bear servant, for lack of a better word.
We have about fifteen in our home. They tend the fires, care for the grounds and guard the gates to my families estate. Father says we live symbiotically with them. Father says we provide the bears organized shelter, society and work, they in turn provide information about the North, workers for our foundries and guides through this frozen wilderness.

I think Father likes to confuse me with the big words he knows, Father does that because he is a scientist, the greatest ones that has ever lived. He's traveled around the globe over fifty times. Father thinks there once was a bridge to Noriska, that is why we are here, but I don't think so.
Father says I think more like a bear than a human. Father leaves for his great expedition today, I guess we will see soon enough.

Father has given me this book to write in. I asked him what I'm suppose to write about, he said, "Your dreams, your experiences, and your thoughts. When you look back on your life you will want to remember these things."
So I guess that's what I'm going to do.
Right now, being the son of world famous explorer, I want to be one to. Just like my Father.

Wintery Adventure

2010-11-09T09:21:00.000-08:00

Today I want an adventure.
One preferably in the snow.
I saw it falling from the sky today and couldn't help but smile, of course I was looking out from the warmth and comfort of my home and a hot cup of cocoa.

But I yearn for adventure, a white blizzard, a silent wall of white, a sea of ice, a mountain of cold, a valley of frozen depths, a tundra.

I need a compass, an armored bear, and my demon at my side.
Where is Iorek Byrnison when you need him?

I need to find a wardrobe, with a witch, a lion and a talking beaver inside.

Oh, a side note. One of my oldest and dearest friends is at this moment boarding a plan, and flying it back into my life. I haven't seen them in three years, and I can't wait to see them. Its been to long, and I am excited to renew our friendship, share experiences and just see each other face to face.
Its almost as if Christmas is here now.

An Ode to Beginnings

2010-11-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

What does one think when confronted by a beginning?
When the mountain is before them, or the road twisting onwards, what will one say?
What would you feel for a beginning? Anxiety, weakness or fear?
When would your heart rate speed up? When your feet are in the cradle of the starting line? In the first breath of life? Or the flutter of first wing?
Where will your beginning take you? Left or right? Up or down? This way or that?
How will I make it, what will this profit me, when will it end?

So many glittering shimmering fears, reflected in the light of our own aura, own understanding and sight. The calm before the storm, the dark mouth of the tunnel, the first scratches of ink on paper or first bars of a song sung.

How much do we really fear the beginning, when it is just short of the best part. Our abilities, and talents begin to stretch. Our minds to open and our faith to grow. We are a new day, clear with no mistakes, we choose how to react and think.

The beginning of a week, the start of a job, the first day of school, a first birthday, a new day, a new moon, a new cycle, the beginnings of a storm, the unfurling of a kite, a bubble being blown into life, a firework fuse lit, a love rekindled, true love found in first sight, the brushing of hands or kissing of lips, the turning of a piston, the flick of a switch, the ring of a phone, the pull of a plug, the match to the wick, the needle to threat, the wheat with the water, the rain to a seed, the wish that becomes a dream, the flash that proceeds the boom, the drop before the deluge, the dark before the light.

What will you do for your beginning? Will you squander it in apprehension and fear, will you be pulled by the wind and pushed from your goal? Will you step away from your beginning and back down from that hill? Will you look the other way and say, "Its not my dog."

Or will you step forward into the dark, cry out your faith, your passion and zeal for life. Will you greet the dawn, challenge that mountain and face that fear.

Will you start to finish? Will you claim your end and say with a voice loud and clear:

I have fought the good fight,
I have stayed the course,
I have kept the faith.

Running

2010-11-05T09:22:00.001-07:00

The other day I was running round and round a track. My goal that day was to run the mile and get to class. Just as I was about to finish my mile, I had this sudden urge to keep going. My mind had this split second battle with itself as I saw the end in sight, and before I knew it the line was flashing by and my feet were still going. It felt good.

As I kept going I could feel myself growing tired, but not one to back down when my mind gets me into these things, I pushed myself, encouraging, always looking to the end, keeping it in sight.

4 laps to go....

3 laps to go....

I could feel my body working, my lungs pumping, my feet hitting the floor. My rhythm beat itself out steadily with my heart beat and breath. I felt one with my body, my surroundings.

2 laps to go....

Keep going, there's no point in stopping now.

1 lap to go....

I suddenly didn't want to stop running, my breathing was coming more shallowly, and it was harder to push myself, but my feet kept thumping the floor, I couldn't stop. My side was on fire, breathing deeply to get air, I felt sweat running down my back and face.

Don't stop now.

And there it was, the finishing line, the end, and it flashed by.

I reached my goal, Two miles straight. I was gasping, and cramping up everywhere, but I fulfilled, elated, and proud that I stuck to my goal.

Its funny now to think about it, this thought comes to mind:

If I were my own dog, I would have said, "That's my dog."

Complexities of a Simle Idea

2010-11-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

It's a new month! Crazy! November here we come. I know Halloween is over and all, but I'm going to continue posting short stories here, for practice and such. So yeah, this should be interesting.

This week I've decided to live Facebook free, it should be interesting. I think I'll feel more accomplished with my focus on real-life relationships (those that are happening face to face or physcially around my body). We shall see.

Anyway, I decided to not wear my headphones on the bus today, in turn I was able to have a interesting discussion involving: Football, Halloween recap and movies.

With the invention of inner ear silence I walked to my classes with the sounds of November Autumn all around me, I had to deviate from my regular routine to crunch through leaves, smell cool grass, look at bare trees, and see the world from a slightly different perspective: two feet to the left.

It was all quite refreshing.

As I'm sure the rest of my walks outside will be.

I also saw a woman who looked like she was blowing kisses at me. After double taking, I realized she was blowing kisses to her car. After two more feet and a tripple take I realized she was trying to lock her car from a distance, pointing the clicker to the left, then the right. Dancing on one foot, while sticking the clicker under her chin, and in front of her mouth.

I wonder if it ever locked.

Morbid-ocity

2010-10-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

I had the perfect Halloween feeling today.

It came lurking upon my conscious in a black ragged cape, all sickled clawed and hungering after my soul. I could feel chilled breath on my neck, a tightening of muscles and tendons. I could feel my mortality shrinking, my insignificance expanding and the shortness of all that is on this world.

T'was not a premonition, or a look into the crystal ball of the future, but a reminder, an icy hand on my shoulder to remind me of what will, eventually, happen.

An experience to cultivate wiseness, to expand my experience, and to treasure what I have, had, and may have.

Death, I have been reminded.

Dream 1, Part 6

2010-10-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

He’s trying to drug me again, says something about how the force is stronger that attracts them to me when I’m asleep. He keeps slipping me drinks here and there in my drinks but I dump them down the drain when he’s not looking, and drink out of my stolen water bottle.
I can feel my head beginning to clear, but my sense of smell and taste still is gone. It’s horrible. I’m trapped in a death cage with nothing to protect me but glass and machinery, Otis has assured me that the bus can handle anything the Night-Crawlers can throw. I don’t believe him.
Its thirty minutes to show time, the peaks are growing darker, the special force waiting just behind the walls are ready. Now we wait. I think I might snap.
“K.C. you might want to lay down for a bit, conserve your energy. I’m shutting off all lights now, night vision on.” Were being monitored by the task force, so we have to keep the pretence up that were related, I nod and lay down on the bed. Otis probably thinks I‘m going to be out within a few minutes. I do my best impression of falling asleep.
Time ticks by, and I see, through slit eyes that he’s getting his contraptions ready, I didn’t bother to listen when he explained it.
A chill runs through me, the mountains are completely dark. I feel them moving. They are coming. I hear the bus door open, and see Otis walk out with the equipment, fresh air reaches my face, and for an instant I can smell it, faintly. But then he’s back and the door is closed. I feel energized from inside. I close my eyes again, they are almost here, somewhere a censor beeps, notifying Otis of their approach. The Task Force must be securing their weapons. I feel fear rise, like a wave. It’s not my own.
I can’t describe it. Suddenly lights appear on the main street and a car careens out of control and smashed into a wall. Out jump three haggard humans, screaming. They’re waving their arms and running for the protection of the wall.
I can feel their fear, as if it is my own. Something clicks inside of me, I suddenly smell the sweat coming from their bodies, crusting wounds. I smell the oils of the air, the burn wood, flesh and rubble that has surrounded me. In the air around me is the taste of antiseptic and cleansing materials. And for the first time I smell Otis. It is a musty smell, but registers in my brain as delicious.
Otis is cursing into the com about the three figures. The first has made it to the door, and is screaming. I feel and taste something in the air, it is familiar. The last figure, closest to the car disappears. I smile, the second one notices, and I almost laugh at his fear. He will not make it.
The second man disappears. I sit up in bed, and as quiet as a leaf falling I crawl onto the floor. I can sense my prey has no idea what is to come. I taste his frustration and anger. Things slide out of my fingers, I look down in surprise to see I can no longer see myself. I am black as pitch. I raise my claws in the darkness and flex them. Oh it feels good to have them back.
I slink down the walk way to the front of the bus. Otis is waiting, but he has no idea. They have come, not because I attracted them. They have come because I called them.
I slip through the plastic, right behind him before he could blink. I sank my claws and teeth into his back and neck. Oh it feels so good, I revel in his screams.
Now I know.
I am one of them.

Dream 1, Part 5

2010-10-22T10:07:00.001-07:00

“I can’t let you go." The statement echos in my ears. "I can't let you go."
You see. . . I think you have a special connection with the Night-Crawlers. One that I haven’t seen in anyone, you attract them.” I gasped involuntarily taking a step back, “listen please we don’t have time. I need you for my experiment, tonight were going to park the bus outside the walls, where they’ve had the most Night-Crawler action. I need you to bring them to me.”
That uneasy feeling is back, and behind it is a cloud of fear. Whoever is watching me, I can feel them drawing closer, because of my fear. I look at Otis, his pleading in my eye, I look out the window, a group of soldiers is waiting by the front of the bus; someone tall is walking towards them.
“Please, this could be humanity’s salvation.”
I have to say yes, it’s the only way. I can feel it inside of me. I nod my head, not a minute to soon, the doors to the bus click open and I hear booted feet coming up the stairs. A tall beefy man, with arms the size of my entire body parts the plastic and steps towards us. His demeanor is one that demands respect and fear from all. Surprisingly enough, I feel nothing, just blankness.
The man sneers at me and turns to Otis, “So you and you’re . . . son are here to capture one of the Night-Crawlers. Well good luck. There’s not a chance in hell you be able to. Our gunners have to blast everything outside the walls to get anything. They can’t ever see them. But I guess if you come from the Top Dogs themselves, I’ll have to humor you. You both leave at Oh Seven Hundred, be ready.”
Turning from Otis he sneers at me again, I keep my face blank. He’s gone; Otis turns to me with a grin, “Let’s get rolling.”
The mountains are on fire again. I’m looking at them feeling my own fear. I can feel them coming near. Were outside the walls now, down a small suburban street, dead limbs and leaves have fallen around and blow in the breeze. Several houses still stand looking at us through smashed windows. I have no idea what day it is, or how long I’ve been with Otis, but I know I must escape tonight. I’m not sure how, maybe I’ll make a dash for it before the Night-Crawlers come, but I know they’re close.

Dream 1, Part 4

2010-10-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

Everything is crystal clear tonight; I see Otis’s face floating above me, high above me. I realize I’m in a pool of liquid green water, well beneath the surface, all around me are shifting shadows, watching me with a thousand eyes. I hear mumbled words and hissing. Suddenly the shadows reach out to my body, I try to twist, but my body is solid stone. Pain erupts where ever the shadow touches, my arms, legs, sides, head. The shadows move around my body, touching, searing my flesh. When they come away I see the skin is black and blue, with minute holes peppered everywhere. I feel myself being to ooze out of the tiny openings. I try to scream, but when I open my mouth water rushes in. I involuntarily breathe, feeling water enter my lungs, bursting their insides.
I awake with a start and sit up in bed. Morning sun streams through my window. Beyond the streams of sun, silhouetted awkwardly is the largest tank I have ever seen in my life, with its muzzle point right over the top of the bus. I jump out of bed, stumbling over my still weak legs. Otis isn’t in the front seat, I call his name, but no one answers. I look at his chair, noticing a case of water bottles open behind his seat. Some empty bottle sit on the floor, point down the stairs. Following their advice I step down the stairs and push open the folding doors.
I’m greeted with a cacophony of sound and sight. Soldiers bustle around the bus, like worker bees in a giant armored hive. Jeeps and trucks I don’t even know the names of are parked helter skelter. Around me stand three huge buildings, squat square thing that have no windows, naked trees stick out around the buildings, probably once looking elegant. Dead grass mashed into dirt and broken cement paths crisscross around them, like shattered smiles. I cling to the door handle, swaying dangerously, so much to take in.
But there is something missing from the whole scene, and I finally realize what I’ve been missing. I cannot smell a thing. All thoughts of finding Otis are gone, I take a huge sniff, catching the eye of a guard walking by he just shakes his head and moves on. Good worker bee. I feel panic rising within me. I cannot smell. I smack my mouth experimentally, but taste nothing. Its almost like not being able to breath and I fall back inside onto the stairs, gasping.
Somehow I find myself back next to my bed. There’s another tray of food, just like yesterday. I reach out and tentatively grab a piece of bread. I put it up to my nose and sniff. Nothing. I lick the bread, nothing. Shivering with panic, I shove the whole piece in my mouth. How could I not notice this before? Was I just too caught up in what was going on around me? My throat is closing around the piece of bread, I need water. Stepping quickly over to the water cooler, I automatically grab a cup from its shelf. Then something catches my eye for the second time: the opened case of water bottles.
Why would Otis drink out of water bottles if he had a perfectly good sink, and water cooler? My choking momentarily forgotten, I swallow and step towards the bottles on the floor. I’m the only one that has been drinking from the cooler, why? Maybe Otis drinks from it when I’m asleep, I haven’t been the most alert person . . . wait. Asleep.
I feel again, the sense of someone watching me, its faint, but I can still feel it. Outside the bus soldiers march relentlessly by. I can hear a thundering somewhere.
A memory, foggy as it is, flashes through my mine. A syringe, in Otis’s hand, a proffered cup of water just before I fell into unconsciousness, the offer of the water cooler and refusal by him.
“Otis is drugging me!” Out loud, the words seem small, but I say it again. And again. And again, until I’m almost shouting them, “ HE’S DRUGGING ME!” I look down at the close I’m wearing, standard gray pants and a long sleeve shirt. I rip off the shirt to look at my arms, huge black and blue bruises are all over my arms, the nook of my elbows, the tops of the arms, even my wrists. I look at my chest; several white scars lace my sides.
I scream, an anguished scream, but it’s swallowed up in a terrific blast of engine as a huge flying machine swoops over the assemblage, rattling me to the core. I am a prisoner here.
Why? Why am I so scared? What is going on? Where is Otis? I’ve fallen onto the bed, face up. Sitting up I look out the window, there a white lab coat among the green gray uniforms. It’s Otis.
Quickly I put my shirt back on. I run over to the case of water bottles and grab one. Hurrying back to my bed I slip it under my pillow, just in time to hear the folding doors slip open, and footsteps. Casually I turn to Otis, as he pushes through the plastic. He smiles quickly at me, and then drops into a serious tone, “It’s good to see your awake and alright. Sorry I was gone.”
In a mock tone I reply, “I was getting worried, where were you?”
“I had to speak to command; they needed to know what my status was. I haven’t been in contact with anyone since I found you. But we need to be quick, the commander of the Stockade is coming, he’s going to inspect our equipment. I’ve come up with a name for you, seeing that it would look strange that you have no clue who you are.”
I have serious misgivings about everything that Otis is saying to me, but comply with a simple nod. Why a Commander of an Army would think that is beyond me, but who’s to say, I can’t trust anyone now.
Otis continues, suddenly picking things up and rearranging them, “I need you to listen closely, you are my son K.C. you are here on this expedition to help me with catching a Night-Crawler. If you aren’t blood related they’ll ship you off to the orphanage here, then who knows what else will happen to you.”
I nodded, that’s all I could do, but questions burned beneath my skin, what is this guy thinking? A question broke through, “Why not let me go? Won’t that be the best thing?”
Otis looked pained for a second, behind his eyes something flashed, was it fear?
“I can’t let you go."

Dream 1, Part 3

2010-10-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

I’m in a pool of black water, there no movement in my body, not even breath. The waters moving now, something’s here with me, I still cannot see anything, just black. Something wriggles past my arm, I try to flinch, but nothing happens. Agony ripples across me, whatever it is, is chewing through my neck. Before my eyes open Otis’s face swims up before me.
There’s sun on my face, and hear Otis whistling a familiar tune, but again I cannot place it. I see a tray of food rattling slightly next to the chemistry set. I devour it instantly, and before I know it, I’m through the plastic door, buckling myself in. How do I miss all that?
“So how went the night? Did I miss anything exciting?”
“Nothing much, Night-Crawlers don’t make appearances on the freeways, they don’t like the openness of it, we think. Or they just don’t like the cars.” I can tell he’s being truthful, ‘cause I can see the disappointment in his eyes.
Were farther into the city now, I can see tumbled sky scrapers and burn suburbs everywhere. The devastation is humbling. I remember what Otis said to me last night, “the Night-Crawlers didn’t do this to us. We did.” I decide not to pursue the matter, seeing that were suddenly swinging off the freeway and down onto a highway.
Immediately I feel something lurch inside of me, “What are you doing?”
“We have to leave the freeway to get to the Stockade; it’s only about ten miles east, towards the mountains. We should get there just before nightfall.”
“What if we don’t make it by then?” The lurching in me is now squirming.
“We have to, otherwise we’re locked out for the night, and we don’t want to be on the other side of their defenses when darkness falls.” There’s more implied to that statement than I can guess at, but the lurching inside me has defined itself as clear uneasiness. Like when someone who watches you the entire time as you’re walking by them, you can just feel their eyes burning into the back of your head.
“Do you feel that?”
Otis looks at me again from the corner of his eye, “Feel what?”
“I dunno, like were being watched.”
I can see Otis grip the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles are turning blotchy.
Time passes, I don’t bother to count, I’m too engrossed with the dead world around me. Feeling incomplete and uneasy at the same time makes me jumpy. Every shadow seems to be a threat. I can’t target what part of me is missing, but the uneasiness is coming from all sides, almost like a prickly blanket. We better get to this “Stockade” soon.
The sun continues to sink lower in the sky, the mountains grow larger and larger, seems like the fangs of a long dead behemoth. I can see their beginning to turn golden pink from the sun. I turn to Otis, he hasn’t whistled a sling note since I awoke, he’s sweating pretty badly.
“Do you need me to get you something to drink?” I automatically unbuckle myself, and twist to get off the seat.
“No that’s okay; I’ve got my water bottle here.” I shrug and head back towards the sink. Otis calls over his shoulder, “fill free to drink out of the water cooler, cups are in the cupboard above the sink. Sure enough, they’re there and I’m tipping back refreshingly cool water.
The bus sways this way and that as I make my way back, I hold the cup close and deposit myself onto my bench, buckling myself. I think it’s time to find out a little more about myself, “Otis, where did you said you’d found me?”
“I found you inside an old barn.”
“A barn?”
“Yeah, you and about fifty other people, except, well. . .” The sentence hangs in the air for a minute.
I prod, “Except. . .”
“Except everyone one else had been mutilated in one way or another. You just had a gash on your head.” Otis turns up a wide avenue, there are stills houses standing here, some cars, burned of course, still parked in driveways.
“You had no wallet, no I.D., nothing. I’m sorry kid, I don’t know your name, who you are or where you came from. All I knew was that the sun was setting fast and I needed to get you into the bus as soon as I could.”
“Oh.” My voice feels small in my head. Even more that thing that I’m missing is weighing in on my mind. I think the feeling of being watched as turned into more of being followed. I look to the sky, and see the mountains afire with light.
“Almost there, apparently the Stockade is an old University, we’re only two main streets away, take a left then the second right.” It’s a bit too much info for me; my mind begins to over load. I feel my neck growing weaker, and my chin hits my chest. I am growing more tired, more than I should feel. I sense the bus slowing down, and stopping.
We shouldn’t be there already. I feel someone dragging me. I feel myself fall into my bed, but I fall past it into sleep.

Dream 1, Part 2

2010-10-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

Dark waters wash around my ears, I know my eyes are open, but I see nothing. Just dark sloshing all around to me, then a sudden blinding white fills my vision, senses, everything.
I’m awake, my eyes snap open, it takes me a second to see I’m staring at a chemistry set, with a counter, sink and garbage can. Everything on it is rattling slightly. I roll over, feeling woozy, I’m now looking up at a curving ceiling, that has a sign for “-TRANSIT AUTHOR-“ under it is a picture of what looks like the front of a bus. My eyes are draw to what I thought was a wall, it’s a sheet of thick glass, and beyond it. . .
I gasp as colors, objects, things whirl by me: trees, bushes, and what I can only take as rubble, lots of rubble. There are broken things everywhere. I tear myself away from the window and look down past my feet, there’s no door, like my hallucination the night before, but a sheet of plastic, with a makeshift door slit into it, a flap swinging slightly.
I put my arms behind me and raise myself to a sitting position. I’m on a bus, well if you can call it that. All the regularly cramped and uncomfortable seats have been stripped out. And in their place, is equipment, tons and tons of equipment that I can’t even begin to describe, let’s leave it at lots of lights, screens and buttons. I realize that my bed has the only window; every other wall is covered with technology.
I can move my legs, so I slowly poke one, then the other out of the sheets. I feel rough carpet under my bare toes as I touch them to the ground. Then I slide my whole weight onto them.
I’m a bit shaky, but can hold my own. There’s a strut to my right, and before I know it, I’ve moved down the walk way, to the plastic door. I feel dizzy, like just having ran a mile sprint, but I put that aside. The plastic is cool, and easy to lift aside. What greets me, is the man, sitting behind the wheel, gazing out over a vast stretch of field. The road in front of us is like a solid black arrow pointing us in a direction.
The man notices me, “Well it’s good to see you’re up and walking. How do you feel?”
“Fine,” I mumble, looking out the windshield, “Where are we?”
He says the name of a place, but it doesn’t ring a bell, besides I’m not listening, something catches my eye, the burnt out hulk of a car. We pass it in a flash, but just as quickly as it disappears behind us, another one comes into view, then another and another.
I hear the man mumble, but I’m too engrossed, the cars seem to be pilling up, some are on the road, causing our to bus veer left and right. The fields around the road are nothing but burnt stubble, the same as the cars. I can’t believe how many.
I feel the bus moving up hill, and look to the horizon, the road is rising above the ground, and huge mountains seem to grow to our left. All around us are hundreds of rusted and burnt frames. We reach the top of the hill, and both of us gasp.
The horizon is a huge smoking mass. Plumes rise up everywhere. It’s a sight to behold, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it, and our road points to the middle of it all. The mountains disappear behind their smoky veil.
“You might want to strap yourself in, this could get pretty bumpy.” I look to my right, there’s a stairwell to the folding door, above and behind it is a bench with seatbelts. I buckle myself in.
“What happened here?” I ask, taking in the devastation.
“You mean to tell me you don’t know?” The man’s looking incredulous out the corner of his eye, “You don’t remember anything at all, what’s been happening for the past six months, where I found you, how you ended up like this?”
“Coma remember?” I’m irritated. For some reason his surprise scares me and I hug myself tightly.
The man hesitates, “I thought it was bad, but not that bad. Well where do I begin?”
“Six months ago.”
His hesitation is again irritating and for some reason, my insides burns. I want to know everything, now. It’s a strange feeling, I’m not even sure of who I am right now, but I need to know what is going on around me. Oh I’m missing it.
“- government ordered the whole country under attack, everyone was really scared. It started in Mexico then spread North and East. Leaving destruction everywhere, millions died within the first week. Before we knew it, the capitol fell and it had reached coast to coast.”
I interrupt, “What started, what did this?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause, as the bus swerves around the carcass of a similar looking bus.
“That’s just it, no one knows.” He’s distracted; we slide past the hulk of a tractor trailer, somehow looking forlornly burnt.
“What do you mean no one knows, something this big happens, the whole world should know.”
The man lets out a breath, I still don’t know his name, I don’t even remember my own. He starts to speak, but I interrupt, “What’s your name?”
“Otis, my names Otis, sorry I didn’t even bother to introduce myself. I work for the government. Like I was just about to say, I’m here trying to figure out what it is that is attacking everything. You see,” another pause, more debris, “whatever it is, it’s never been spotted because it only attacks at night.”
“And it took the entire country in one week?” I was a little more than incredulous.
“We’ll these things, we call them Night-Crawlers, have a strange effect over electricity and things run by it, we believe it has to do with-“
And he’s off onto technical stuff that I don’t’ understand, typical of a scientist. I’m letting him ramble on, seeing that the good stuff will come soon enough. The clouds of smoke are growing larger by the minute, along with our highway, it’s now four lanes one way. This road is probably going to lead right to the heart of this city. Gosh, there’s burning rubble on either side, as far as my eyes can see. Ash is falling lightly, and I can see smaller forms scattered around empty streets. I hope they’re not what I think they are. Something doesn’t feel right. Almost like I’m missing something, crap he’s wrapping up.
“So within those first few hours, security, communications, military, everything was down, and in total darkness. What’s left of the government has turned into stockades, heavily guarded sections of cities, with people held up inside, waiting for this war to end. That’s where we’re headed now.”
“Will the war ever end?” To me it sounds like something that will end once everyone runs out of food and guns, but I can’t really voice this to Otis, it might snuff out his hope.
My head shoots up at his next words, “My hope is that it could end within a few weeks.”
“But how? Whose going to do it, how many of them are out there, what kind of military do we have?” I want to say more but he waves me silent. Were driving over a cracked overpass, I can feel the ground shift slightly beneath us. I wonder how long it will take to get where were going.
There is still something I feel missing from my body, mental check shows everything is there, but still.
“I’m going to capture one of the Night-Crawlers.” It’s a fact, almost as if Otis has done it already. My mouth drops open.
“But no one’s even seen one.” My protest again is cut through by his hand, it’s kind of annoying, and something stirs in my gut.
“I have my way you’ll just have to see.” He looks up to the sky, “were going to have to spend the night here on the road, the sun is setting fast.’
I didn’t even notice. The sky is turning a brilliant shade of orange, tinted with the brown of smoke. Night is coming on, I suddenly feel too tired to keep my head up, I think Otis notices because I feel the bus slowing down, we pull behind yet another hulking frame of twisted and melted metal.
I un-strap myself and Otis guides me back through the plastic door to my bed. Lying down in my bed, I see Otis filling a cup of water for me.
“Here,” hands me the cup, “this will help you sleep.”
I think nothing of it and immediately feel myself slipping away, I voice one last question to him.
“Otis, how on earth are you going to capture something that’s turned entire cities into smoked marshmallows?”
There is an infinite amount of quiet, and my mind is surrendering itself to sleep, when Otis answers, “The night crawlers didn’t burn us out. We did.”

Dream 1, Part 1

2010-10-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

This story comes from a dream I had, it has to be broken into segments, which will be updated day to day (probably at 10:00am every day). So if some parts are boring, stay tuned! It'll prove exciting I hope.

A Nightcrawler's Dream

I feel movement around me, my body shifting left and right. I am accelerating, my blood rushes up to my brain, I can feel bumping, and there’s a roar. Nothing is in focus around me, I am rushing along in complete darkness. I hear something, muffled sounds, like shrieking, yelling. I feel my body jerk, then complete darkness envelopes me again.
“Hey . . .” there is a push on my arm; I think it’s my arm. “It’s okay, wake up, your safe now, wake up.”
The voice is unfamiliar, I ache to open my eyes, but it feels like someone is pressing down on my skull, forcing me into the ground. I twitch a lid.
“That’s it, nice and easy, just don’t move quickly.” The voice is clear and deep, I’ve never heard it before. I finally lift one lid, my left one, though it shouldn’t matter right now. Everything is blurry still, I try to open my right eye, light pours in, and I flinch.
“Its going to be okay, you’re in a safe place.” The voice is in front of me, I can feel breath on my face. I inhale, and the room snaps into focus. I look into the bearded visage of a man, dressed in a lab coat. Behind him is the smallest hospital room I’ve ever seen in my life, and weirdly enough through the door that leads out into the hall has two seats, a steering wheel and a windshield.
“Where am I?” My voice seems to bubble from my lips, I find it alien, like it hasn’t been used in years.
The man in front of me smiles, “You’re in MCL 32, Mobile Chemistry Lab 32. I know it’s a bit disorienting, you’ll probably feel that after the action you’ve seen.’
“Action?”
“Do you remember anything?” His voice grows softer.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been in a coma for a month.”
I know shock should be paralyzing me right now, but all I can feel is numb.
“A coma. . .for a month?”
The man walks over to a calendar on the wall: it reads October 1st 2011. He flips pages back, “Yeah, I picked you up the beginning of September, see, and I’ve been trying to wake you up since then.”
I feel weakness flood into me, my mind is racing over a blank slate in my mind, “Where, how, why?”

I feel disjointed, and I can see darkness trailing the edges of my vision.
Something somewhere beeps, and I feel several forces pulling me into the bed, the wall, the floor and the ceiling. The darkness seems to keep threading itself into my eyes.
I feel pain, lots of pain, and I hear something, a low hissing that swallows itself into darkness.

Pause and Think

2010-10-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

Okay this isn't scary stuff, so don't worry.
I just have a lot on my mind today and had to start writing somewhere about something. The other day I just sat on my bus the entire ride and watched the world rush by my face. There was so much, so much to see, hear and smell. My eyes couldn't take everything in. Sometimes that's just how life is, you try to see the big picture and its just too much to take in. Sometimes you just need to take it a detail at a time. I feel like I'm at the top of a diving board, looking down at a pool that has the painting of my life on the surface, and if I just dove of, I would splash all the parts across the world. Then something new would come of it, forming and shaping around the gaping hole left by my body.
Of course, logically I probably would need to come up for air before I suffocated, but have to be careful about not breathing in any of the paint.

But that's just logic.

I feel the storm around my life now, I look at my hands and think what they are made for. What am I going to do with them, what will they create, discover or destroy. I look at all the cross-roads of life and want to travel each one, see where it will lead.
What opinion will I grow, harvest and share? Whose life will change me? Whose life will I change? Who am I, what am I going to do on the face of planet earth that will enhance the stay here. What greater purpose do I serve?

I feel like a five year old in his fathers shoes.

9-1-1 Emergency Call October 13, 2001 9:01p.m.

2010-10-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

THE CALL

"911 emergency-"
"Please you need to help me!"
"What is the situation ma'am?"
"I'm stuck inside of an elevator."
"Is security on their way?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then all you have to do is sit tight mam, they should be there in a few-"
"I don't have time! Somethings in here with me."
"Sorry miss did you say someone is there with you, are they hurt?"
"NO, its not with me, its outside."
"The person is outside? Are they leaving the elevator?"
"Oh my gosh you don't understand."
"Ma'am, where are you?"
"Oh gosh, its close. I can hear it crawling towards me."
"Ma'am, where are you?"
"A hotel."
"Which hotel?"
"Its sniffing, oh, it can smell me. I GOING TO DIE!"
"Ma'am, which hotel?"
"What hotel?! It doesn't matter, freak I'm going to die!"
"Ma'am try to stay calm, you aren't going to die. What hotel are you in?"
"Oh my- its going to crawling inside. Oh Gosh, help me!"
"Ma'am, try to remain calm."
"Are you still there?"
"Yes ma'am, just tell me where you are and I can get our guys to you."
"Where am I? Where am I! Freak its getting closer."
"Focus,okay whats your name?"
"My name? Lisa, its Lisa."
"Where are you Lisa, whats the name of the hotel."
"I'm Lisa,I'm in the.... Oh my its climbing around. . .the Radisson! I'm here in the Radisson."
"Which one?"
"How'm I suppose to know that? Oh freak, I think its chewing through."
"Lisa stay with me girl, Focus! Where are you?"
". . . . .its the one on north and 36Th, by the freeway."
"Perfect, were calling there now, just stay with me-"
"OH GOSH, EVERYTHING IS SHAKING! ITS SHAKING!"
"LISA stay calm, LISA I'M HERE!"
". . . "
"Lisa?"
". . . . ."
"Honey, are you still there?"
". .the lights are out, I can't. ."
"Don't worry help is on the way."
". . .its. . .its. . ."
". . . ."
"Its inside. . ."
". . . ."
". . I- somethings moving on the ceiling. . "
". .I . .don't. . ."
". . .hsssssss."
*Click*

THE HUNT

2010-10-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

Hi y'all. To celebrate the coming of October and Halloween I have decided to post scary stories for the month. Some may be from my dreams, others from split second inspiration, but all will be for you to enjoy. Some may have to be broken up in three or four parts, so watch for the headings. And please give me feedback! I'd love to know if I gave you the chills.

THE HUNT

The Hunting

I can feel them near. They are coming.
I urge myself to run, to hide where somewhere they are not.
The world is dark around me, rushing madly by my feet.
I hear the snapping of leaves, the growls, and howls of the ungodly.
Quick to my hideout, my safety, my salvation. They are coming.
Wet plants slap on my bare skin, stinging me.
My heart rises in my throat, my feet burn with pain, I'm covered in something. Blood.
The trees are mist shrouded, and the air is cool.
I feel the moon bright behind its clouds.
Howl's are growing louder, slashing and gnashing sinking closer. They are coming.
Up the slippery slope, to my dark hole I must go. Safety is within reach.
I'm in the open, the home stretch, they will not find me.
But too late I hear the crack of fire, the boom of death.
They have found me.
I have no where to turn, left right, up, down, all bring death. They are coming.
I pause in fear, looking behind me, their figures larger, more distinct.
They are gaining.
I look to the ground for a weapon, even a stone.
Then I feel it, like white hot coals all over my body.
I look to the sky, see the parting clouds, I am too late. They are here.
I scream in rage and pain, the figures are a stones throw away.
The moon is full, bright almost as the sun.
I'm afire with my true self.
I try. . .to. . .scream.
Pain. .all. .pain. . . .Men. .screaming. . .
. . .Must hide. . .self. . .growling.
Bones. . .cracking. . .growing. . .changing. .
. . .I. .am. . . .new. .creature.
. . . Kill. . .
Must. . .kill.
The burning has ceased, I feel my skin.
It's course, and taught, streched thin. . .
My muscles are lean, my limbs are long.
The moon is bright in my eyes, I shade it with a hand. No, paw.
I flex my claws, glistening and razor sharp.
I growl deep in my throat, reveling in the fear I suddenly smell.
Yes, I smell their fear, and it is good.
I . . am . . here.

October Ushered in!

2010-10-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

Yay its October!!!!! Autumn, leaves changing, chili season, corn bread, corn mazes, pumpkins, costumes, haunted houses, scary movie nights, jack-o-lanterns, candy corn, Halloween!!!!!!!!

This is the best month of the year! I'm so excited. But to back up a bit into September. I had a great going away present from the month. It took the form of:
SUPER NOVA GIRL!

Not kidding. My quiet library world was SHATTERED, not kidding you, SHATTERED into an oblivion when (we'll call her Super Nova Girl) walked into the door, actually I think she flew in, from her bike's seat, humming with energy all the way there.
Immediately she started to talk to me in Spanish, like she knew exactly who I was and that we had a friendship since our birth. In fact the intensity with which she talked to me seemed like our mothers allowed us to communicate through their pregnant bellies, no exaggeration there.
My co-worker and I were trying to figure out if I really did have any kind of "relationship' wither. IN 14.2 MILLISECONDS I figured I'd never seen her in my lifetime, and thus sat back for the experience of a life time.

Apparently SUPER NOVA GIRL had ridden her bike, with her significant other and followed by her father in a Mercedes that apparently she was not entitled to ride in because of an "unmentionable phrase' of a father that she had, from Bountiful to Farmington.
Where upon she had come to called upon the vast resources of the Library to find all the books written by one author. (Confused yet? So was I.)

So I did the only logical thing: diplomatically placing her in the capable hands of the Reference Librarian. Bless her heart. I ran for cover after that.

I hid in the back room, giggling to myself from the exchange and surfaced to find SUPER NOVA GIRL waiting for me at the checkout counter with exactly 15 books written by the same author. And one book for a coin collection that had coins from around the world, ranging in date from the late 1800's till now, which was more than me or my button shoes could be worth. (I don't have buttons on my shoes, just laces).

The counter was slightly vibrating from the excess aura reverberating off of SUPER NOVA GIRL and my hands shook from the energy as I check out each book and placed it into doubled up plastic sacks.

All the while SUPER NOVA GIRL was rambling about Farmington government officials coming after her, her father's car, books by the same author, and coin collections.

The minute her card passed from my hand back to her, she was off again with all sails flying. She leapt onto her bike, with her significant other in tow, and father's Mercedes following.

With all the gusto of a Red Dwarf Star imploding in on itself, she promptly ran her bicycle into the retaining wall just outside the front steps and flipped over the handle bars.

Unshaken and with sturdy resolve,SUPER NOVA GIRL pounced on her bike once again and was off. By which time I had retreated to the back rooms of the Library doubled up in a fit of laughter that I count not contain nor control.

This whole experience can be summed up in one phrase: Like drinking gasoline straight from the hose, while the hose is on fire,while the pump pumping the fuel is melting and expanding, and the whole gas station itself is exploding into a roiling mass of destruction.

Thank goodness its not my dog.

2010-09-27T09:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Mother Nature:

We walked throught your backyard last evening. We were surrounded by your silence, your peace and your touch. We saw snow white egrets, Great Blue Herrons, and one or two Pelicans.

There were lakes full of life, fish, algea in artistic swirl patterns, and diving ducks.

We loved the songs of each bird, and cricket. Thank you for them, my mind was stilled and my eyes were opened.

You set the sky on fire.

We danced in the setting rays, and held them in our palms. We felt your cool breath on our necks and arms as you fell asleep.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Us

SOMETIMES ALL THE TIME

2010-09-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like I need to be noticed by everyone
Sometimes I feel like Jim Carey
Sometimes I look like Tim Curry. . .
Sometimes . . . I like to miss my bus.
Sometimes I feel like a fly on the wall, listening to things I don't want to hear.
Sometimes. . .
Sometimes I am a fool. . . Okay a lot more than sometimes.
Sometimes I want to build a rocket.
Sometimes I just want to be silent.
Sometimes I feel like the most insignificant speck of nothing.
Sometimes I want to flip my boogers on tailgater's windshields.
Sometimes I feel dark.
Sometimes I just want to be alone.
Sometimes I love rap.
Sometimes I want to shrivel up and die.
Sometimes I trip on flat surfaces.
Sometimes I get the point across
Sometimes I laugh and cry.
Sometimes. . . I stub my toe.
Somteimes I misspell everything.
Sometimes I get angry.
Sometimes I taste happy.
Sometimes I don't act.
Sometimes I look both ways.
Sometimes I get stung by a bee.
Sometimes I feel trapped.
Sometimes I just need a good friend.
Sometimes I wish I could fly.
sometimes bad things happen.
Sometimes I'm caught off guard.
Sometimes I don't sometimes.
All the time I am who I am.

On the hunt for a Ginko Tree

2010-09-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

Today I had a face off with a mourning dove.

I was peacefully meditating on the world around me, and the secrets to life, in the courtyard of the engineering building when there was a fluttering of wings and my nemesis MOURNING DOVE flew onto a near by railing.

He looked at me first with one eye, then with the other. I stared back, my concentration focusing like the gamma-rays from the sun. MORNING DOVE continued to switch gazes from one soulless black pit to the other. Then he stopped, his head cocked to one side, the emptiness of his eye opened wide, nothing but not breaking our eye contact mattered. I vowed upon the souls of all the dead squirrels buried on campus that I would not look away.

We looked on.

A single drop of perspiration trickled down my temple, a feather quivered at the tip of his tail.

I knew I had him.

He was beginning to quake slightly, I knew that my razor sharp sight would soon cut him into a raging inferno. (Yes I know that doesn't make sense, but its what was said on the fine-printing of my contact-lens box.)
Alas it would not be so.

At the last moment, the first of the early morning engineering students appeared on the scene, innocently calculating the equations that would one day save the world from an invasion of bridge fearing Theropods.

MOURNING DOVE knew too much was at stake, and a split second before he, the student and half the building would have been blown away, he turned tail and headed for the trees.

Until we meet again, MOURNING DOVE, watch your tail feathers, cause I'm watching mine.

??

Big Sisters

2010-09-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on a little big sister.

I remember when you would make me play barbies with you.
I would be the dog(a sheep dog with real hair)and I would loyally fallow you and Barbie through dinner, parties, Ken dates, and even being left alone in the huge "Barbie mansion" waiting by the door till you came home.

Then you would say that the dog died. Barbie would mourn and I would sit back and watch you till you were done, as "advised" by you.

Singing Phantom of the Opera at the tops of our lungs. Jumping on the tramp, Rob bouncing us till we were speechless and screaming without sound.

Watching you recover from a car accident involving our red 94 Toyota Corolla, and a 30 point buck. I never knew that singing opera could be so therapeutic.
Oh dear chicken-bones.
Muldoon
Strawberry........you know.
Seester

I remember the day you were engaged. Well it was more like night. You came and jumped on me screaming you were going to get married. I bawled like a baby at your wedding.

When you listened to Vivia La Vida and cried your eyes out missing me.
Reading the experiences of your life, wishing I could hear you laugh.

Getting phone calls about crazy old women with no teeth and crazy hair, talking to themselves.

Laughing so hard you almost pee your pants.

Re-hashing pretty much every movie we've seen in our life times.

My little big sister.

I love you.

Falling Potted Plants and Biology Class

2010-09-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a two hour biology class. It was pretty interesting, we talked about cells, mitochondria, prokeriotes, bacteria, hydrogen peroxide and other related subjects.

I accidentally laughed out loud when my teacher told us a story of how his friend died of hemorrhaging. Okay I'm not sick! But he was telling us how his friend would always grab his nose under the nostrils to help relieve cramps in his legs, apparently there's a pressure point under you nose. Well I thought he was joking about his friend hemorrhaging... yeah not.

Well after all that interesting stuff, I went to see what one of my friends was watching on his laptop. It was the amazing PBS Sherlock Holmes series and I was about to do a victory dance for it, but my natural grace and poise got the better of me. My foot caught in the laptop power cord, wrapped around the beautifully potted plant (that my friends wife had given him a week earlier) and ceremoniously dumped it, the beautifully positioned rocks around the plant, and a plastic green dinosaur onto the floor.

Of all the things to happen. Don't worry the plant suffered nothing from the encounter, except for being a little shook up. My pride was dented, like always, but everything was great.

The rational part of my mind screamed: "It's not my dog!"

Notes of a People Watcher

2010-09-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

What an interesting morning it has been. And its been a while since I last posted...... a couple weeks or so?

Today I ran into a couple that I went to high school with. They were a year younger than me in school, and have been married 7 days longer than I have. Weird.

Oh!!!! Right across from me is a man with a GNARLY mullet! Haven't seen one like it for a long time.

Today I felt like a sponge, soaking up everything that my teachers were saying. The feeling was incredible! But now its wearing off, just when I need it for my physics class. Shoot.

I guess you all are getting the spurting thoughts coming off the top of my head. Lucky you. :)

I love watching big crowds, they have a movement and destination of their own. Like a school of fish, or flock of birds. Each individual has their own thoughts, feelings, desires and destinations, but all must come together at one point or another, communing with each other, even when they don't notice it. They move with or around each other. Entire worlds colliding, smells, sounds, sights. Aura's touching together to form a kaleidoscope of life.

The individual often thinks in just that term. Individual, me, I, one. But do they ever think to look around them, to take in the montage of existence? Do they see the big picture? They are part of a family,community, city, state, country, world? The fact that that world is in the farthest flung arm of an entire galaxy? A small speck of insignificant atoms?

Do you?

Or do I just sit back and say, "Its not my dog" and move on my way, with my earphones in and music blaring.

Coupons & Vacations!

2010-08-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

Geeze! Why is it that when you want technology to move fast it slows down, and then when you want things to go slow, it just speeds things up?

Well this summer has been freakishly busy! I love it! I quit hardware and now am seeing employment else where. Lets hope some doors open soon. But now I'm off to an adventure with my awesome wife to MOAB UTAH! Yeah! I'm so excited!
Hello heat, sun and desert! I'm excited for scenery change.

Megan and I found Hooper Utah the other day, just stumbled onto it in our explorations. And fell in love. We have decided that if nothing works out in my schooling efforts, were going to move to this small po-dunk town and start a Lavender Farm. We'll also keep Llamas.

QUESTION: Why is it that people think spending money (by the billions) is going to reinflate our economy? Is anyone alarmed that we have to go through the GOVERNMENT to get our finacial aid for school? When are "We the People" going to realize something is wrong and open our mouths to say something?

OTHER QUESTION: Why do I feel so much like I have been built to inspire goodness, but feel like the ability is just a yell that is turning into a yawn deep in my throat?

LAST QUESTION: When was the last time you read the constitution?

Our basement dwellere moved out last week, he took his pitbull, boxer, fish, iguana, lizards and unmentionables with him. Yay! I'm just glad its not my dog. He's theirs.

Books! Books! Books!

2010-07-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

If you read this blog you must check out this book at your nearest local library! If not you will be run over by a MACK truck driven by an armless, legless, stapled-to-a-tree, orphaned african baby.

The book is called: The Mysteries of Harris Burdick

By Chris Van Allsburg.

Seriously I got the coolest brainwaves from this picture book, speaking of which, here are just of few of the pics:

So awesome! Let me know what you think!

And while your at it, look up Into the Land of the Unicorns, great series!

Finding Joy in the Journey

2010-07-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

A piece of perfection, a slice of heaven, a lick of sweetness, a BAVARIAN CREAM PIE TO THE FACE! What more could one want??

I wonder what a Bavarian cream pie is......

Anyway! I'm back on the non-existent air waves of blogging! I love it. This week has come and gone, along with the tidal wave. Its the weekend and its time to celebrate right? Tell me that after my 10+ hour shift tomorrow. . .

I find it so funny, the empty lot in front of my hardware store has been an empty eye-sore for my entire life and now, just in the past week someone has decided to build a Kneader's Bakery in front of it. I love the irony of life. :) But no matter what everyone will still need hardware. No matter what.

The other morning at my library job a woman came to the door and with big puppy-dog eyes mouthed that she needed to pick up a book, she looked and me and without a second thought I put up ten fingers, she slumped, and tried to say something else.
You have to know that I am one jaded person when it comes to opening doors up before and after hours, I've had too many annoying customers come in and fasten themselves to a isle like a tick, waiting to suck all the life blood out of the store.

Anyway, the reference librarian opened the door for her and she got the books she wanted. Her reason was to have something for her children to watch and listen to for the six hour drive they had ahead.

It was like being washed with a fire hose of memories in a split second, my dad taking me to the library before a trip to the cabin or bear lake, getting mysteries, comedies, suspense and all sorts of stories. Then all of us would listen intently as the world around us slipped by, we laughed and got scared all together and then afterwards talked about what we thought.

I experienced a moment of longing, for children of my own to have an experience like that with.

I wanna take a road trip.

Today's children's book obsession is: Fancy Nancy! If there ever was a book to illustrate Megan's inner child it would be this:

This is a Bavarian Cream Pie:

This is my inner child:

I wish this was my dog:

Dreamer's Disease

2010-06-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

A SHOUT OUT TO:
CREAM CHEESE FROSTING AND BROWNIES,
STARS ON THE CEILING,
NOTES ON WALLS,
SURPRISES,
LOVE,
AND MARRIAGE.

Lets just say that I love my wife and all her creative sweetness, she is the best thing on earth!

I love her to the core!!

Here's to you and strawberry cheesecake. :)

Now its a run and off to work!

Feeling the Sunshine

2010-06-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that June is coming to a close! Summer is flying by!

The other day, actually yesterday morning, I started out with the best intentions, but ended up digging my self a hole to the underworld. A woman came into the store looking for staples for her staple gun. She needed in between 6.3mm to 7.9mm, or so I thought...
Turned out that the staples i got her were .3mm too long, so after driving home, she came back to the store and we tried a 7mm staple and that proved to be worse. It got jammed in the gun, and i succeeded in ripping my nails apart on the unscrew-able screws.
This poor lady left three or four times from the store. On the third time when she left and came back she just caved and bought a bran new stapler, with the wrong staples...again.
So, tossing my hands in the air, wanting to be sucked into a black hole, I got her the right staples and sent her on her way. Don't worry I gave her the staples free.
She was real sweet through the whole experience, and said she would come back.
What a way to start a Monday, at least I sold her the new staple gun right?

This week I read an awesome book, mind you it was another children's book, its called: I wanna Iguana by Karen Kaufman Orloff, Illustrated by David Catrow.

Its pretty much the best.

By the way, Keith Urban rocks.

I'm glad this isn't my dog

New Adventures Afoot!

2010-06-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

Exciting things are coming to my life! I love how life takes sudden and unexpected turns.

My wife just said: "I don't ever imagine it being cold enough to wear a jacket ever again."
Just thought that was funny.

Anyways, as some of you may already know, Megan has found a job at West Point Elementary School as a part-time morning Kindergarten Teacher. She interviewed and received the job in the same day, I believe only three hours apart. She also received two other job offers at the same time. But something told both of us this was the job for her.

As for me, I am currently filling out my BYU application for admissions and persuing a degree in Industrial Design! I never thought I would be excited to go to BYU, but stranger things have happened..... Maybe.
By the way for those who aren't familiar, Industrial Design is the Art of Engineering. The engineers make the product, its functional, we the Industrial Designists make it look awesome!
Don't worry UofU fans that are my friends, my blood is red through and through.

Does anyone remember who their Kindergarten teacher was?

The other day I was craving a good sci-fi read, yeah I know I'm a nerd. So I went and check out the original Star Wars books, they pretty much rock, I recommend it to any sci-fi lover.

Its summer finally, the weather is hot, I'm reading books like crazy, Megan and I are working our tails off, and I have a constant image of poplar trees next to golden wheat fields.

Has anyone read "There's an Owl In The Shower!"
I read it in elementary and loved it, if you haven't, do it!

And for my last thought of the day, I'm taking (almost) private lessons from sculptor Mike Call, Wednesday nights. I had my first class and it was amazing!
I realized two things: Mike Call is amazing and makes scuplting look like child's play and I suck at scuplting, I have a lot to learn.

This was a piece done by him, he is incredible.

Libraries

2010-06-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't want to work among thousands and thousands of words over hundreds of years old? Especially when your shelving them and the row is already smashed with them. Then when you finally fit the dang book into the shelf, the whole thing explodes and comes crashing down on you. When that happens all I can do is laugh, except I don't have a quiet laugh, so its not a library laugh, so I end up echoing from one end of the building to the other.

I'm probably the loudest employee the Davis County Library system has ever hired. Lets try not to rock the boat or anything. :)

The best part of my job is that I get to read bits and pieces of books as they come through my hands and onto the shelf. Its like having a continuous Thanksgiving feast infront of you and you get to pick and choose what you want to eat, every day and get paid for it!!!! :)

So while on the topic of books, what is your favorite one, or two or three?

Right now mine is Star Dust by Neil Gaiman. Its an enjoyable read.

The other day I saw someone walking this rat/dog thing. It was cute, but it had a mustash and wicked looking eyebrows. It reminded me of those old black and white photos of the old cowboys that look all crusty and have the stubble.

I'm glad it wasn't my dog, if it was I'd have called it Billy the Kid.

When Somebody Loves You

2010-06-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well world! Life has come down to the earth again, except I still feel this floating sensation all around me. Hmmm..... I rather like it.

Megan and I are settling in well. We have a beautiful apartment that looks out at the freeway and neighboring park. The sky is so blue and big when you come down to the edge of the foothills. :) I am deeply entrenched in working full time with both my jobs and Megan starts her crazy schedule of I think teaching 4 or 5 different classes at the Museum of Natural History tomorrow! I'm very excited for her, she is a wonderful teacher and I know that everyone taught by her will benefit from it.

Everyday I wake up to Megans beautiful face, and every night I got to be with her gentle breathing next to me. What more is there to life than that? Were getting use to the feeling of sharing a bed, but its comfort and a joy to roll over and see her face in the moonlight.

I thank God everyday for giving me an angel to spend my life with.

To grind and shift gears a bit here is an excerpt of something that might be featured on my blog:

I'D LIKE TO SMOOSH YOUR FACE INTO THE CARPET:
what not to do in customer service.
A child came up to me today and said,
"When I grow up I want to be an Artist!"
My responce was:
"Well you'll never make any money."

Thankfully that was just in my head, I just smiled and said, "Well you better have fun with that."

Isn't life just funny? One second you are at the top, looking down at everything and feeling like it couldn't get any better that where you are, then you get knocked of by the next person in line, tumble down the hill and have to start up yet another mountain.

Good thing the view is always better at the next mountain top, otherwise there wouldn't be any point to it all.

Our basement dweller has blue hair and two puppies, a boxer and a pitbull. He is a great person, but has been shorted a few brain cells. One dog is called DOG, the other I think is Daisy. They are both adorable and don't bark a lot.

I think he barks more than they do.

Thank goodness its not my dog.

Married at last!

2010-05-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well its been the best 6 days of my life! I just got hitched this last week and went on the Honeymoon! It has been a wild ride, but its been worth the time, effort and stress. It was hard to see my fiance so stressed out, but it all paid off.

The ceremony was amazing in the morning, the luncheon in the afternoon was a killer and the reception in the evening was spectacular. Megan did it almost single-handedly. There were tones of angels there to help as well. Both our siblings and parents were more than generous! Cousins, in-laws, out-laws and more helped bring this symphoney together. Thank you all! (I'm not sure if any of them follow this blog at all, but if so, thanks!) Don't worry if I have time, I'll post more pictures of the special day.

Last night was our first night in our very own apartment. It was our first day of freedom. You know I always wondered what the price of freedom was. My mom told me:
Rent.

It couldn't be more true.

When Megan and I got ready for bed, I had a fulfillment of an unknown dream. Weird huh? We both were turning down the sheets on our bed, and something stopped me. I realized right then I always wanted to have someone to do that with for a very long time. And there I was with the woman of my dreams, my best friend and my better half, holding the sheets to our bed, in our bedroom, in our apartment, at the beginning of our life together.

My life couldn't be more perfect.

Smiling like a fool

2010-04-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

Today I almost got hit by a UTAH TRANSIT AUTHORITY bus, got rain/snowed on and took my second final. All in one morning. And you know what? Ive been smiling like a fool through all of it!

In my institute class I was reading about marriage and I said, just before the whole marriage part, "In Two Weeks". Everyone laughed, will I be struck down for adding to the scriptures?

A friend came up to me today and said, more power to you for getting married and being excited for it. You are an example to us all and I want to be like you and your fiance when I get married. I smiled and said, it helps when your fiance practically attacks you when you walk through the door.

Thanks Jason!

Okay was looking for an awesome picture of someone smiling and found this. Totally rocks!

Good thing I didn't have a dog with me when that bus almost hit me....

One test down, 15 days to go.

2010-04-27T17:37:00.001-07:00

Today is blustery, I keep thinking I'll see pigglet holding onto a tree right by me.
I just finished my first final, CoMmUnIcAtIoNs, it wasn't too hard, we'll have to let time tell.

Tomorrow I have my Diviersities class test, I'm a bit nervous, but once again we will see.

I ran into a guy the other day that told me he was terrified of marriage and couldn't believe someone younger than him was getting hitched. I replied, yeah it's scary, but when you find the girl of your dreams that laughs at your jokes, adores your every move and genuinely cares that you've had a bad day, how could you not?

I wonder if he has a dog.

Okay one last thing, the other day I came across this movie in the library. I pretty much busted a gut over it. Its a wonder these kind of ideas get made into a movie and are sold on the shelf.
I mean honestly, hooded fang?
Enjoy.

Where's David Bowie when you need him?

Awe-struck

2010-04-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

Today I am in awe. I wonder why. Something deep within me just opened up and look at the world for the first time. Like infant eyes. The world around me is huge, infinite as the universe. It reaches to the ends of my stunted field of experience.
I feel so small and insignificant. Except I am part of this wonder, this world. I am infinite, and full of wonder. I am a window taking all in.
I am in Awe.

28 Days till........

2010-04-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well class, today is 28 days.

28 Days till love eternal
28 Days till peace of mind
28 Days till "Our apartment"
28 Days till Good night, see you in the morning
28 Days till Good bye parents house!
28 Days till paying our own bills
28 Days till owing rent
28 Days till forever
28 Days till white
28 Days till our home
28 Days till our family
28 Days till our future
28 Days till Summer Adventures
28 Days till Dinner with you always
28 Days till living with my best friend
28 Days till candle lit dinners
28 Days till small spaces
28 Days till just laundry time at the padres
28 Days till your my roommate
28 Days till completion
28 Days till wedding bells
28 Days till talking all night long
28 Days till we can fall asleep together
28 Days till being poor and loving it
28 Days till a family ward!!!
28 Days till dreams come true
28 Days till all the plans pay off
28 Days till I'm yours, forever

Too............

2010-04-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

Too young to get married.
Too poor to do that.
Too uneducated to understand.
Too scared to try.
Too proud to collapse.
Too vunerable to respond.
Too religious to have fun.
Too free to commit.
Too off-key to impress.
Too white to be special.
Too loud to listen.
Too happy to be sad.
Too distracted to connect.
Too backwards to move forward.
Too ignorant to believe.
Too secure to love.
Too hard to try.
Too obvious to be awkward.
Too significant to matter.
Too fat to be thin.
Too nervous to conquor.
Too weak to overcome.
Too strange to be the norm.
Too crazy to live.

I came up with that while taking notes in my communication class. Please give feedback.

Road Trip Recap

2010-04-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

We'll here are some pictures of our adventure! The four of us: Me, Rob, Jarom and Dustin had a blast! 10 hour drive there 10 hours back. We went places, saw people, swam in the ocean and hiked through hell! It was awesome! All done in the great country of CALIFORNIA!

Good old, Lake L. A.

Hiking to the edge!

Our gracious hosts: the Spencers. Thanks for the free food!!

I actually found someone famous, totally forgot their name and what movie they were in, but its the thought that counts right?

Yeah, he's not really famous.....

We left burn, tired and happy. Dunno who the random girl is there.......

And then it was back home to our frozen wasteland:

All in all, a great adventure!!

Day Before Road Trip

2010-03-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

Moses Hogan!!!! Its taken this day long enough to come!!! Tomorrow will probably be unbarable! But I can't wait! Bachelor Road Trip here we come!!!!!

One last fling with my three best friends!!
5 days in the glorious California Sun, then its on to the WEDDING!!!! YEAH!!!! Oh, I'm not excited about getting married at all. . . Okay thats a bald-face-lie! It's never going to come soon enough!!!!! Do the exclamation marks get my point through?

Today I voted for new student government at the U. It was between NOW and ICE groups. I had no idea what they were about, until i got out of my A.A. class early(no I'm not an alcoholic) and saw their booths set up by the library. I walked up to them and asked what they were out to do. They told me their shpeal (yeah say that one to yourself out loud, can't spell) and then I walked into the library and voted. I picked NOW. They were more organized and promised to save 4,000 more dollars than the other group. Plus they were wearing green. :)

Speaking of green "HAPPY SAINT PATRICKS DAY!!!!" I was walking to class today and no one around me had green on. I was like: What is this?? Did they miss the memo?
I was sorely tempted to run up to them and pinch them, but. . . my moral compass actually worked. Yeah.

.....Yeah these are creepy.......

I didn't see any dogs yet today. If I had one, though, I would dye it green.
Is that animal cruelty?

Monday

2010-03-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

This morning has been eventful! After sitting through yet another "prejudice" movie in my A.A.(don't ask) class today, I spent my institute time talking to a fellow student in my class that I didn't even know. Turns out he is just like me, LDS, returned from his mission about 8 months ago,
from England, and is getting into the whole college scene. I forget his name, but he was nice and personable. We talked about life, history and of course our mission.
The conversation was so refreshing! I love talking about my mission and the gospel, and even more so, hearing others experience and testimonies. I love it! This world gets so caught up on the rusty nails of the floor of life. They already got tetnis from the first stub, now their intent on infecting their entire body. Come on! Lets focus on the sky! Whats around you and what really matters!
So to that new friend I made today: Thanks for the pick-me-up.

I have 58 days left till marriage! They drag on like the line at the DMV. I think I'll hit 70 before May 12th comes. Love is a funny and amazing thing.

No dogs yet today.

Writers Block

2010-03-09T18:14:00.000-08:00

I can't think right now. I just wasted a lot of gas, walked a long way in the rain and stressed over a class that never happened. Life just isn't good tonight. Now I can just only pray that I make it out of here alive and without a parking ticket.

I feel bad for the shark. Hey, at least its not my dog. . .

A thought . . .

2010-03-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

How do you live your life? Do you live it to impress others? Do you live it just because? What is it worth? Can you pick it up and pocket it in all of its entirety? Is it something to be of consequence? Will it shake the world? Change peoples lives? Will your life be remembered by generations? Will it be forgotten by the future? Will it be reflected on again and again as a lesson to be learned from, or a mistake to be avoided?

Who do you live your life for? Yourself? Love? The world? Money? Friends? Family? Are those things or people well loved by you? Do you even care about them? Are they strangers to be looked upon for judgments? Is your life a pearl to be cast before swine?

Today I realized my life is so much more than just for me and my experience. I learned that I can't only live for my wants and dreams. Life becomes a one way street when lived like this. You and only you are at the end of that road. And when you come to it, there's nothing else for it.
Life should be lived, but for a person or persons other than ourselves. Family, the love of your life, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends. All are there to be influenced by and gain influence from. Like a drop in the sea, or a voice in the choir. All has a place and a function, sometimes a separate entity, an individual but always accompanied, surrounded or sustained.

I want to live my life so in the end, I won't be alone. I want to see my friends, my family, my children, my grandchildren, all at the end, cheering me on, just waiting to celebrate together, as one.

It's been a thought provoking day.

The Greatest Place On Earth!

2010-03-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

I just have to give a shout out to all those people who find the city just too busy and crazy! This place is one of the sleepiest towns you'll ever find: Oakley Idaho.

Here there be nothing! And that's the best part! My family has owned this cabin since my great grandfather George Erickson built it. (If any of my family read this, please correct me if I'm wrong). Since then the Erickson Clan has enjoyed peace and quiet among the cows and sage brush. I have so many fond memories of playing in the creek, and flying kites in the fields. Time always stands still here. Worries are set aside and its time to reflect and enjoy the creature comforts of life.

The cabin itself is located 15 miles to the east of Oakley, in the Oakley Bason (once an active volcano. . . a long time ago). There surrounded by volcanic rock and rediculous amounts of sage brush, is the crown jewel of our family.

A place I can never get enough of, and miss terribly.

Thanks so much George and Rhoda! Would would have known how many people your dreams would influence!

There was an old farm dog named Bob that use to live next door. I remember hearing a story of how one day when my younger cousins were playing in the front yard, they came across bob, with his head in a ditch. They thought he didn't have a head. They ran screaming into the cabin, "Grandma, Grandma! The coydoties got Bob!"

Copious Amounts of Energy

2010-02-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

Wow I don't know what it is today, but I am running on full! In fact overly full. Right now my feet are taping and legs shaking! Ah ha! I must have gotten the perfect amount of sleep. I want to do the Peewee Herman laugh every 20 seconds.
HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Its cold, gray and snowy. But for some reason I have summer screaming all around inside of me! Gosh when are we going to get there? Is it just around the corner? Just around the next bend in the road? I need sunlight, I need warmth, more than ever before. I guess for now I'll just bask in the light of my Love and be content with that.

Who ever thought Pitbulls were cute? They are! I'm just glad its not my dog.

A day in the life of a White Male.

2010-02-22T09:42:00.000-08:00

I've had an eventful life thus far (from the last post). I survived a bout of the stomach flu. Funny thing is, I didn't feel it coming on, untill I read a message from my love saying that she and her family had it. Then it came in a maelstrom. Got to love the timing of life eh?
I spent a wonderful Sunday relaxing with my love. Watching movies, finishing puzzles and snuggling in my freezing house. I love the simple things in life!

I think I'm down to 80 days!!

This week I vowed to eat heathier, eat less and exercise more! Lets "EXERCISE THE DEMONS!" I feel good today! Life is great! I think my favorite thing today has been walking through campus with a blue sky above me and my bright future before me.

Also on sunday, I sat in the living room with my parents and read. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Due to the fact that both are ensconsed in the Hunger Games series. (God bless that author its so good!)
I was stuck reading the Narrative of Fredrick Douglass, which is very interesting, but somewhat lacking in the entrancing words of Susan Collins (author of the Hunger Games). I felt a bit jealous. But both books are very well written and I recommend them both to all of you readers. (Who ever you are.)

My sister bought two beautiful dogs the other day. Tragety struck shortly after, sinking her ship when the Land Lord in CALIFORNIA called and said "get them hence."
I must see them soon. :( It's not my dog, but it's my sister.
Dogs for sale. . .

School. . . what more can I say?

2010-02-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

Moses Hogan! Its been way too long since I last posted something, sorry to you few who read this. I am now deeply intrenched in my 3rd semester of school. I have 4 classes and homework oozing out of my ears. :) But I love it, my only respite is that I have a wonderful woman in my life to keep things alive and living for. Also that Valentines Day is coming up soon, and for once in my life it will really mean something to me. I can't wait to shower Megan with love, chocolate, and of course flowers.

A funny thing happened to me today. I was walking through campus, the sun was shining and the wind was blowing, rediculously cold mind you. I was watching people walk around me, and the world just pass by. When suddenly I had this overwhelming feeling of love for my life, my friends and family, and most improtantly for my soon to be finance. I know its cheesy, and it didn't help that I was listening to Michael Buble's "You and I" either, but I couldn't help but smile. I can't wait to be married to her! I can't wait to call her my own, to wake up to her beautiful face, to have our own home, and to not say good bye every night. I can't wait! 92 days left till that amazing day! YEAH!!!! Here's to you babe.

110 Things to do For the New Year

2009-12-30T22:05:00.001-08:00

Okay everyone here is my list of things to do for 2010. I've been inspired by Megan's list so here it goes, its going to be an interesting year:
1. Get married.
2. Play the Game of Life. For real!
3. Paint myself Blue.
4. Kiss the one I love at least once a day.
5. Go kite flying.
6. Hike to the Top of the World.
7. Write a children's story.
8. See my love all in White.
9. Smile everyday.
10. Love passionately.
11. Laugh everyday.
12. Road trip with my WIFE.
13. Laugh in the face of danger.
14. Create a World.
15. Live my dreams.
16. Eat escargo!
17. Go to a live Rock Concert.
18. Learn to play the cello.
19. Sing my heart out.
20. Eat SpoonMe Frozen Yogurt.
21. Read a Book with Megan. (my soon to be wife)
22. Renew an old friendship.
23. Check 35 items out on my library card at one time.
24. Cut out snowflakes, and have a continual snow storm in my house.
25. Go skinny dipping.
26. Hike Mount Olympus.
27. Have a toga party.
29. Get a full-time job.
30. Learn some Italian.
31. Day-dream about Europe.
32. Pay the ultimate price for freedom: RENT.
33. Watch a Shakespearean play.
34. Laugh my guts out over nothing.
35. Stand backwards in an elevator.
36. Run cross country for 5 miles.
37. Shelf a cart under 20 minutes.
38. Write a book review about my favorite book.
39. Passionately kiss my love when she least expects it.
40. Stare at the sun.
41. Get a wicked awesome tan.
42. Swim in Bear Lake.
43. Paint a portrait.
44. Say yes for time and all eternity.
45. Touch a cactus.
46. Climb down a cave.
47. Visit the zoo.
48. Find a sexy tux.
49. Make a list of 111 things to do next year.
50. Have my first Christmas with a wife.
51. Go to Mass.
52. Eat a whole bag of peanut butter M&Ms.
53. Go rock climbing.
54. Eat deep-fried oreos at a fair.
55. Drive a Chevy Colorado.
56. Have my own car.
57. Surprise Megan with a gift.
58. Pick an entire field of wild flowers, run from the cops and give them to Megan.
59. Write a funny story.
60. Go window shopping for houses.
61. Do homework with my wife.
62. Mop the floor of my apartment.
63. Go to the Aquarium.
64. Watch all six movies of Star Wars.
65. Watch all six movies of Pride and Prejudice.
66. Beat Megan in a game of Risk.
67. Wear bright yellow on a gray day.
68. Finally live on a budget.
69. Be Conservative with my money.
70. Go to two full semesters of School at the U.
71. Make new friends with someone.
72. Go to a star party.
73. Go on a picnic.
74. Visit Antelope Island.
75. Photograph a sunset.
76. Visit an obscure Utah city.
77. Go cloud watching.
78. Set off Fireworks.
79. Roast and eat hot dogs.
80. Go camping!
81. Go canoeing.
82. Cry cause I'm laughing so hard.
83. Make a Chocolate cake with Megan, then eat it with our hands.
84. Try Indian food.
85. Cook Chinese food.
87. Make green-dyed waffles.
88. Talk with an accent for a day.
89. Spend a whole day in PJ's.
90. Live off of PB&J sandwiches.
91. Lose at a game of chess.
92. Own my own Laptop.
93. Wrap myself up in wrapping paper and a bow. stick me on my own front porch, address to Megan H. Erickson.
94. Run from one end of campus to the other.
95. Play tag in Walmart.
96. Kiss Megan in a Rain storm.
97. Read a book in a hammock with Megan.
98. Plant a garden.
99. Be sealed to Megan.
100. Tell someone I'm sealed to my wife forever!
101. Go karaoke singing.
102. Sing "The Sweetest Thing" by U2 to Megan, with a wooden spoon.
103. Wake up every day (for half the year) to Megan's face.
104. Write love note on bathroom mirrors to Megan.
105. Eat everything Megan cooks me.
106. Explore IKEA with Megan. . . Again.
107. Plant a tree.
108. Wash Megan's Car.
109. Drive through the country.
110. Go to Disneyland.

Happy New Year Yall!

Over and Out.

Life 101

2009-11-30T18:45:00.000-08:00

It has been some times since I've blogged! Sorry to the world and whoever reads this. Life has really had me busy and I love it! Just to let everyone know, I became engaged on Thanksgiving night, 27th of November 2009. We were making wishes in front of one of the most beautiful buildings on earth and both of are wishes came true, isn't love just amazing? I'd have to say that life taught me one of its 101 lessons, never having been engaged before, it was a one in a life time experience. The lights, the cold crisp air, the warm beautiful face of the love of my life, and my shaking, fumbling fingers bringing up an extrodinarily bright and shiney diamond, the smile on her face. A "Yes, Yes, Yes!". Wow! And then before you know it, were kissing, laughing and crying all at once.

Now its December, Christmas is on the front step waiting to come in. Crazy how fast life can pass by us all right? Finals are over and now its just work and holiday cheer! Christmas is one of the best times of the year, sure you can make every other part of your year just as great, but there is something about the lights, the snow, family, friends and most of all the love. Some people ask, where's the love? We its here, in Christmas. We've been having some amazing storms in the past week, it was so extrodinary to me to see so much snow, since living in California, my mind has to switch back to a real winter, instead of their 50 degree winters. (Pretty much an extention of an amazing fall.) There's just no place like home.

We'll its not fully Christmas without the music, of course not the annoying overplayed "pop" christmas music that you hear every second of your shift at the store, but the beautiful sounds and melodies that come from choirs, lovers and everyone else. Singing in the car by yourself, or with your whole future family-in-law. I was privilaged to attend a choir concert of my future brother-in-law, who is an extrordinary singer himself, and part of one of the most incredible choirs I've ever heard! The concert was in this hall that has built in wavey walls. It's one of my favorite buildings, but the walls and ceiling that do actually have waves built into it, amplify the voices sung within it. Creating some of the most heart stopping accoustics. The music was phenominal! The choir, very professional and clear. It was raw talent that brought me to the edge of my seat. Once again life gave me it's 101 lessons, the beauty of a gift given to those to sing the heart strings of my own heart. To be of almost etherial voices. I was moved, touched and swept from my senses. Life is full of these simple and elegant experiences.

Oh today I was driving by the capitol building, what a beautiful grey granite buliding. Anyway, I saw a woman walking her poodle, big and fluffy white, with thick poof balls and the end of its feet. It was fabulously disgusting. Im glad its not my dog.

Life lesson: Shoveling three walks is more satisfying than doing just one.

Broken toe day.

2009-11-23T18:59:00.000-08:00

Its been a day! This morning I smashed my toe into the ground, don't ask how cause I'm too embarassed to say what happened. Well its been quite the expedition hobbling around everywhere. It makes me so greatful for those many times that I have a perfectly fine toe. Right now I'm listening to Coldplay's "In My Place" and I feel very "put" in my place.

You know what I've finally realized in my career of customer service? (5 or more years, I know so long) That I am being honed, molded and formed into the perfect customer. With the all my experience of meeting people I know who I want to be more like or who I dont ever want to be like, I'll be the best person to check out at the grocery store, or for that matter any kind of store. I think that all those mean customers should at least spend 7 years behind the counter of any retail or customer service job. And if that doesn't get it through their head they should be pummled until they do. That simple, right?

So I dont know how I feel about this blog, its probably not getting any viewing whatsoever, but I guess its a good way for a budding writer to get his thoughts down in writing. I would really like it if anyone who looks at this to offer a comment, even if it is: yeah this sucks, that would be good enough for me. Its like in Dumb and Dumber how he asks that girl if he has a chance with her and she says "one in a million." "So there's still a chance?!"

The best part of these "Broken Toe Days' is that I get to go home to the love of my life (well at least to her house for the time being) and tell her about my day, and have her adore me no matter what kind of fool I am. Its a miracle and a blessing to be in love. You find an equal that can overlook your faults and weaknesses and say: "I Love You", The three most beautiful words in human exhistance. "Te Amo" for you who speak spanish, "Je T'aime' for you who speak French, "Ich liebe dich' for you who speak in German, "Ti amo" for you italians.
And the rest of you out there on God's green earth:
"Wo ai ni", "Kimi o ai shiteru", "Es Tevi milu", "Szeretlek te'ged", " Tora dost daram", "Jag a"lskar dig", "Nga Chola Gagai Yo. Nga Chola Tsewa Yo", " Ikh hob dikh lib", "Eu te amo", "Ek is lief vir jou", "Ana Behibak", "Ana Behibek", "Volim Te Ba", "Ngo oi ney", "Mina armastan sind", "S' ayapo", "Kuv Hlub Koj", "Mu tumaku bhala paye", "Saya cintakan awak", "meh chi chain maai", "Nga naw hta ha ja.", "Inhobbok!", "Ma timlai maya/prem garchu", "Ayor anosh'ni", "Za Tasara Meena Kawam", "Za tha sara meena laram", "Ljubim te", "Gwa ai lee", "Ya tebya kahayu",
"Tom ho' ichema", "Mo ni ife re" and "'Rwy'n dy garu di.".

Over and Out

Pizza! For Breakfast!

2009-11-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

It's SATURDAY! The middle of the weekend!!!! No work and all play! For at least us chosen few.

Today I participated in the amazing ritual of pizza for breakfast. It all started out, from as far as I can remember, when my mom would run off to a retreat with alll her friends and us kids were left with Dad to take care of us. You know that saying, "When the cats away, the mice will play" ? Well that's exactly what happened with us. Every night was friday night, movies, staying up late and livin' the good life. Okay maybe not to that extent, but Dad was a lot more relaxed on the rules than mom. Anyways, Dad would have to feed us, and with him busy at work and not coming around till it was "dinner time" he would always swing by little ceaser's or dominos, or when I was really young: Godfather's pizza, and bring home pepperoni or pineapple pizza! It was like a dream come true, the warm box. the steam coming off the top of the pizza as you opened the lid, wafting the tantilizing smell throughout the kitchen. We kids would set the table up and be ready with our plates in hand. We each would grab our own and snarf it down like we were starving. And lets us not forget the complimentary A&W root bear liter or Sprite to wash all it down. Yeah, every night felt like friday night with dad in charge.
But then the next moring would dawn bright and way too early. We would stumble out of bed, bleary eyed and get ready for school. Dad was already up and getting things ready for breakfast. But there wasnt anytime for him to cook cream of wheat or oatmeal like mom would, because he was leaving the same time we were for his busy work day. So what did good old resourceful dad do? He brought out the cold pizza! Now I don't say this with any negativity, but actual gratitude. We would all gobble up that cold pizza, like it was going out of style! It was still good, and if you nuked it for a few seconds in the microwave, till it was just before the melting point, it came out even better than the night before. And the sent of it all in the air was a reminder to us of the fun we had the night before.
And to this day, when there is left over pizza in the fridge and I open the door, the same smell wafting into my face, I remember those great times together with my siblings and Dad, eating cold pizza for breakfast.

Today when I was putting up christmas lights, this random yellow lab came up to my property and just sat there and barked at me. Then, after a minute or two, got up and took off down the street. Maybe I wasn't doing a good job on the lights. I dunno, at least it wasn't my dog.

Note for life: When pruning rose bushes, wear gloves.

Over and Out

Great Questions of the Universe

2009-11-18T17:14:00.000-08:00

What a normal day its been. I had to think about that for a second. Yup today I could say that it was pretty normal. Woke up, went about daily habbits, work, school, driving, etc. My personality today has been calm, melow and well. . . NORMAL
I feel like I should be talking like a robot, TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER or something like that.
I'm having trouble finding what I want to say today. It quite interesting.

Today in art class were drawing pictures with white chalk, essentially doing backwards, putting the white in first and whats left and not touched by the chalk is the dark. Its a total reversal of the mind and the way one's eye looks at something. I love it. Its challenging. I just turned up my I-pod and had at it. I was in my own world, sing and drawing and shapping and blending. It was incredible! I got lost in it, so much that people had to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. I love being that into a project, I seem to lose myself in expressing myself. Its hard to explain.

The other day I saw this 80 year old lady running through the leaves with her dog. It was one of those small dogs with the long hair, so it looked like a mop head. But it was jumping and running around her legs. She was having a ball, kicking up the leaves in the sunlight and laughing at her furry friend. It made me smile,and in a split second it was gone.
It wasn't my dog, but I wish it was.

Today I feel that all the questions I've had in my mind, or had asked to me could be answered by one simple thing. It made me laugh as I saw that answer in the words of a friend, as they quoted a much loved movie to me. What they said wasn't it in anyway, but the route my mind took to it, was, and is flawless.
The answer to all of lifes questions, and for that matter the universe's questions, today is. . . . . 42.

Over and Out

Blustery Winter Day

2009-11-15T15:15:00.000-08:00

Winter is upon us! I feel it in my bones! I couldn't believe the storm that swept through my hometowns! I was caught of guard as the front line of the storm swept inbetween the canyons of skyscrapers. My mind was and is still stuck on california weather, so my first thought was that someone had ordered a thousand snowmakers. It was whipping and twisting around everywhere, and i thought my nose was going to fall off as I felt my boogers freeze inside my nostrils. I was about to ask who had set them up and paid for it all, but then the reality and realization that it was moisture falling from the heavens fired through the synapses of my mind.
Three winters, three balmy, perfet winters its been since I have felt the bitter cold breath of Jack Frost on my face. It was magical and horrible all at the same time. And I loved it. The love of my life and I took refuged behind huge granite walls, and watched as winter began to unfurl its hand around us. I've forgotten how it feels, looks and smells.
Welcome Home Winter.

Today I told my mother that I had a blog going. She said to blow my nose. She's not into the "blogging" universe. Which isn't too bad a thing. I think she would rather suffer a thousand different gruesome and horrible deaths before even thinking about blogging. It provides for quite the converstions.

This morning I was looking again out my front window and saw that Capone and Charlie's mischief was afoot. They tore across my front yard as fast as they could, whipping past bushes and tearing the tops of frosted flowers off. You could see smiles of joy on their faces as their tongues lolled out. Charlie's mom (owner) came hunting after him first. She scrambled into her brand new subaru, probably muttering a few choice words to herself, and took off after them. Then I saw them come tearing pass my window in the opposited direction. A few minutes later Charlie's mom drove passed. This happened a few more times. And a few more. You should have seen the look on her face. I'm just glad, they're not my dogs.

I guess now the old sunny california me is dying away. I'm so excited to feel the true winter of the mountains again, but I am saddened that part of me will never come back, will never be the same. As my mother always says: Branch out, its good for you." I guess I will take heed and move onwards with life. It is the way of things. A bulb planted in the ground will sleep throught the long winter, to burst through frozen ground, past a blanket of snow and bear its beautiful bloom to the world, to let everyone know that spring has come. I am greatful for the winter, but a part of me will always wish for the spring.

Note for life: A bulb planted upside will alway find its way up to the sun.

A Charcoal Gray November Day

2009-11-12T12:57:00.000-08:00

As I sit here looking out at today, I can't help but wonder if God specifically made this month to look this gray and drab so all we could do would be to think of all the things we are thankful for. Today I'd have to say that I'm greatful for sunlight, for beautiful blue skies, for white puffy clouds, for green trees and even greener mountains. Interesting how the weather so effects our moods and emotions. For some of us, when the weather is gray, our moods turn even grayer, for others they stay the same. But for us few the eyes of our imagination open wide and gather all in. The horizans of life seem to go on forever and our brain gapes wide open to catch things we'd have never thought of before. I love days like this, my mind goes for some wild rides.

I just watched as my neighbor's dog, Capone, run across my yard, next door to his friend, Charlie's house. Apparently he couldn't play, so he came back, pausing to pee on some of my mother's dead flowers. If she'd seen, he would have been given hell. Im just glad he's not my Dog, nor my responcibility. But he is fun to watch and love (as the next-door-neigbhor). It's been interesting to see from this kind of view. I am an ex-dog owner, my own two sheep-dogs passed away more than a decade ago. And I find that a detatched sort of view is very interesting, and at times humorous and rewarding, but I do long for another dog.

This kind of weather entices me to draw in charcoal, it helps that I have an assignment due soon of a charcol drawing anyway. So I must be off. Good luck to all who are living this day! Do something creative, if only to pass the time!

Over and Out

Victorious over the Evils of Mathematics

2009-11-11T18:37:00.001-08:00

Well, class went a bit better than i expected. Actually a lot better, the numbers and letters that usually all run together as a great river of death, were cleared up. Now I understand and my brain can allow "i" and other such letters to work with the rest. Hmmm. . . . .this might just be a one night deal. We will see!

Over and Out

Cloudy, with a Chance of Chicken Wings

2009-11-11T16:11:00.001-08:00

Today, Wednesday the 11, I had a Norman Rockwell moment. You know those amazingly painted memories of children in a candy store with a jolley, red-faced man behind the counter, counting out pennies a bright-eyed and excited child has just given him.

Well that happened before my very eyes. I had just taken the money from such a child and was giving him his candy back, when i realized that I was that jolley man behind the counter. It totally made my day.

Next a woman walked into my hardware store. She had on a jacket the color of my soul. A violently, neon lemon. I screamed, was knocked off my feet, and couldnt speak for a few minutes. I just kinda went; uh-uh-duh-duh.........yeah. It was pretty sweet.

Now hopefully I'll end the day in a triumphal victory over my math class. Cross your fingers.

Over and Out.