Pause and Think

Okay this isn't scary stuff, so don't worry.
I just have a lot on my mind today and had to start writing somewhere about something. The other day I just sat on my bus the entire ride and watched the world rush by my face. There was so much, so much to see, hear and smell. My eyes couldn't take everything in. Sometimes that's just how life is, you try to see the big picture and its just too much to take in. Sometimes you just need to take it a detail at a time. I feel like I'm at the top of a diving board, looking down at a pool that has the painting of my life on the surface, and if I just dove of, I would splash all the parts across the world. Then something new would come of it, forming and shaping around the gaping hole left by my body.
Of course, logically I probably would need to come up for air before I suffocated, but have to be careful about not breathing in any of the paint.

But that's just logic.

I feel the storm around my life now, I look at my hands and think what they are made for. What am I going to do with them, what will they create, discover or destroy. I look at all the cross-roads of life and want to travel each one, see where it will lead.
What opinion will I grow, harvest and share? Whose life will change me? Whose life will I change? Who am I, what am I going to do on the face of planet earth that will enhance the stay here. What greater purpose do I serve?


I feel like a five year old in his fathers shoes.